Where Did The Summer Go?

When the "Durling" concludes this weekend it marks the end of the summer season and the beginning of the fall season with frost delays right around the corner..

So what has happened all Summer in the Pot Game?  Here is recap and a few highlights and lowlights.

The Chuckster is still the smiling face behind the Pro Shop counter but now he wears a badge that says "Director of Golf".  He even handles the pressure of Pot Gamers calling in, making teams up and serving customers who want a cart, range balls or green fees.   Something his predecessor couldn't always handle that's why he once instituted a ban on "calling in" to say you were playing.

The "Rat" aka Commish is back in power after handing the reins over to Bear the last couple of years.  He got off to a rough start when one of his first Pot Games the teams had to made up three times because they kept leaving players off.  When he finally brought the cards over to tee to announce what the teams were all the Pot Gamers greeted him with rolling eyes and had their hats on crooked.  Somewhere he lost his nice straight little stinger driver shot and his putting touch.  Must have been from all those bales of hay he has been moving or the donkey shit he has been shoveling.

Fireman hosted two RW&B tournaments without any riots breaking out like last year.  His favorite tree on the 1st hole of North is healing up after years of abuse because he doesn't slice much anymore.  He waves to it as he passes by from the middle of the fairway.  His swing changes have had him shooting in the mid 70s which means he is raking in the cash from Jerry and Rama.

Mad Dog claims he isn't playing very much golf in his retirement because he is too busy hosting his grandchildren.  Except when you count how many days he plays.  Tuesday night league, always Wednesdays, most Fridays and both days of the weekend, plus he practices every night on 8 North while he waits for supper and after his cocktail hour.  He hired a architect to draw up plans for an addition to his house with the money he won off the Bear this summer.  He seems to be in a better mood this summer since he doesn't have to water the flowers any more.

Gretchen Headed Down The Road

Billy D claims he never cuts the ball anymore after he received a swing tip from Walt.  But if you play with him you may see a little left to right creep into his ball flight about the 14th hole when he gets tired.  I regret to announce that Gretchen and Billy D are no longer a couple.  It seems that she wanted more time for herself.  She used to be able to count on Billy D playing golf in all weather conditions so she could online shop or read.  But he started to refusing to go out of the house if there is even a remote chance of rain plus she said he became increasingly grouchy.   Her parting words to him were "you are nothing more than a big old Pussy Willow".

Birdie has been enjoying his new free lifestyle unburdened from home ownership.  He and his canoe can be spotted on the ponds and lakes around Harrisville and Hancock.  His form of relaxation is reeling in a few bass, knocking down a few adult beverages and filling up a plastic bag full of plump blueberries.  His game has shortened a bit and the ball flight is sinking but his putter still works well so he cashes when he gets the right Captain.  He and Rat may have to throw down before the summer is over in a revised version of "Battle of the Beave" . 

Birdie vs Rat

Molasses Boy bought more new clubs this summer with the hope of finding extra yards to be able to reach all the par 4s in regulation.   He used hours of Golf & Ski pro's time to fit him properly then proceeded to stiff him and ordered his clubs elsewhere.  We haven't seen a big change in his scores though same old 75 to 85 like most of the Pot Gamers.  He still claims he is not the slowest Pot Gamer anymore..but the jury is still out on that one.

Chimney has expanded his betting to include chipping for "mythical dollars" against Fireman and Bear.  He has schooled both of them with his unique closed club face wrist snap mini divot method..  The ball hugs the ground and dives into the hole with regularity inflicting pain on both his competitors.  His ram-a-jama putting technique is still going strong. 

Joey M is looking for an actual winning team this year in the Durling after appointing the twins Billy D and Birdie last year as Captains.  They ended up picking teams that were so even it ended in a tie.  Joey befriended a few more Pot Gamers over the summer (they must have bought him a few beers) so he now has 20 players in the Durling up from 16 last year.  Joey has been playing some solid golf this summer including giving NNN a run for his money in the Cities.

CFC is the only Pot Gamer who carries fewer irons than woods.  In fact he has so many head covers sticking out of his bag it looks like he has no irons at all.  He has missed a total of 6 fairways this summer which is a 100% increase from last summer.  I think it is because he is swinging 1 mph faster to try to find a few extra yards.  He is all the way up to 64 mph swing speed.  He will have his hands full this weekend when he goes head to head against his Daddy the great "Wedge Wizard" Rama.

Rama has the betting bug.  He has taken on a 4 beer House in a 3 hole gold game match after a recent Pot Game as well throwing down challenges to several A players.   But he now has his sights on taking down his son in the Durling.  Both their games are a bit erratic going in so it will come down to who rolls it the best.  CFC is plotting with DMac to break a few machines on Friday night so his Daddy will have to get up early Sat morning to fix them before he plays.

to be continued...

Opening Day and Other News

18 Pot Gamers showed up Saturday for Opening Day to play on the lumpy frozen south course.  What was suppose to be an 8am tee off became a painful waiting game of watching the white frost turn into globs of freezing cold dew.

Group #1 Bear, Tractorman and Hilow aka the "Secret Weapon" teed it up at almost 10am.  Group #2 Andy Mac, TJ and Rama followed right behind shivering all the way. Group #3 BB, Skrocki and  a one legged Billy D were out of front nine by the 4th hole.  Group #4 DMac, Dickie Mac and Jerry Maguire got off to a fast start only to derail on the 8th hole.  Group #5 Sandy, Chimney and CFC cruised along at a 1 over every hole pace. Bringing up the rear Group #6 lead by the retired Mad Dog, the retired Fireman and the part time school aide Birdie quietly (because no one could see them they were so far behind) slipped in with a cool +5 to take the front.

The back nine was a comeback for Group #1 and #3 as they tied with +3.  With most teams feeling the aches and pains that go with the first time out saw their scores soar on the back.  Which meant that Group #3 sneaked in by one shot over Group #1 for the overall.

Only two Pot Gamers could break 80..Mad Dog 78 and Sandy 79.

There were 5 skins worth $18 a piece.  Chimney, CFC, Dickie Mac, Bear and Sandy.

For those of you who keep tract of the Dollar-A-Hole matches of the Bear here they are:

YTD Mad Dog + $3
YTD Sandy +4
YTD Andy Mac -$1

The first casualty of the year was Billy D who managed to wreck his heel and could barely walk.  Mad Dog is pain free so far (because he won money).  Commish was a "no show" weather related.


Sunday only 16 players showed.  With no frost they were able to tee off on time at 8am.  Group #1 Captain Otis, BB, Fireman and CFC thought they were running away with the front after a -1 (three best balls) on the first hole, only to implode into double digits by the 9th hole.  Group #2 Captain Luke, Andy Mac, Chimney and Jerry Maguire knew they were toast by the 7th hole as they hit double digits.  Group #3 Captain Sandy, Bear, Skrocki and Rama looked good only on the card not on the course, they were all cashed in by the 6th hole.  Group #4 Captain Mad Dog, Molasses Boy, TJ and the Secret Weapon they thought they were playing two best balls as they cruised in with only +5.  Really need to start drug testing.

The back nine was only good for one team #2 who also shot +5.  Group #4 although they crashed and burned out back for +11 it was still good for overall (bastards).

Again only two Pot Gamers broke 80 and they happen to play on the same team (isn't that special) Mad Dog 79 and Molasses Boy 79

There were 4 skins Bear, Mad Dog, CFC and Otis worth $20 a piece.

D-A-H against Bear

Mad Dog $ +1  YTD $+4
Andy Mac $-2  YTD  $-3

Skoog was missing again either the contract that Joey M took out on him last year has finally been cashed in or his wife has him doing house work.  You guessed it Commish was missing again.  Billy D was icing his foot and drinking cold beers at home.  Bear's knee after walking for two days straight looks like a beach ball so he could be on IR.  Tractorman stayed away so he wouldn't have to play South two days in a row.  Otis needs to work on his handicap or else he will be a Captain all summer long.

Most Pot Gamers are shooting in the 80s with a few each day slipping into the 90s with the cold March weather.   North course opened this week we will be playing all 36 this weekend.

Happy Easter

Earliest Ever..

This Saturday will mark the earliest Pot Game ever March 12th..record was March 17th.  The Big House is licking their chops over all that dues money that will be flowing in a month early.

Billy D has been recruiting players to make opening day a success.  After skiing on ice and rocks all winter he has finally decided to concentrate on his golf game.  Although how much can he do when his little fade gives him the most consistent scores of any Pot Gamer already.  He even has his own par of 82.

Mad Dog with the mild winter played the 8th hole 231 times since closing.  He made 31double bogies, 85 bogies, 93 pars and 22 birdies.  No recorded hole-in-one.  He has lots of free time on his hands since he has retired from the grind of watering plants, washing carts and counting cash in the pro shop cash box.  So far he is pain free but the first ailment will show up when he shoots a round in the 80s and loses dollars to Bear

One Pot Gamer who won't be showing up is the one who's name rhymes with Fudge.  He has become the head pro at KCC.  He got the job after the beloved Charlie Kamal was ousted in a coup d'etat led by Fudge's friend on the BOD (rhymes with Leo).  Fudge did have to change his name to Kamal and be adopted by Dottie to keep the legacy in tact.

Fireman installed a chipping green in his garage this winter because he no longer has access to the one in the Firehouse.  He hopes to rack up thousands of mythical dollars this summer against the Bear.  Time will tell if his stroke grooved on fake plastic grass with hold up on the lumpy fringes of Bretwood.

Birdie hasn't had time to think about golf this winter, as he been "Feeling The Bern".  After being trained in the secret Bernie headquarters in Burlington VT, he has traveled with the campaign as a volunteer strategist.  He got the job after he explained that he had infiltrated a right wing group in Keene NH called the Pot Gamers and he had first hand knowledge as to how their minds work.

Commish & Yogi

Former Commish up to his knees in Donkey shit will only be making token appearances this summer as the number of abused animals at his farm has quadrupled in the last few years.  He does have a new baby in his family "Yogi" a golden lab pup.

Joey M has been spooked all winter long with the same bad dream.  His dream starts with the ghost of Deacon sitting on the edge of his bed.  The ghost then starts getting red and starts yelling at him for allowing the Durling Invitational to end in a tie.  But it really starts haunting him when it yells and wags its finger at Joey that he allowed a "Little Liberal" to be a captain.  That startles Joey out of bed every time in a cold sweat.  So he heads to the refrigerator, cracks a beer, hands it over  the ghost and promises to never to do again.

Tractorman will not be showing up for opening day because it will be played on the South course.  His blood pressure goes up 30 points every time he plays there.  He will wait until Sunday when he hopes "his" North course will open up.

CFC after he emptied all his envelopes of the Hole-In-One pool cash and gave it to his Mommy, she did give him back $100 to use for spending money.  But he wanted to save it so he placed it in his Tiger Woods piggy bank, which in his room sits next to his Tiger Woods clock and Tiger Woods fathead on his wall.

CFC Grabbing The Cash

Molasses Boy bought more new clubs this winter hoping for more distance so he can keep up with Billy D.  He even asked for private lessons from Mad Dog to learn "the flick".  We will see on Saturday if it has worked or not.

Jerry Maguire will be looking for a new libation on the deck this summer as he has dropped out of the "rainbow coalition" for good.  It won't be the Maple Bourbon he broke out last November during a round because his blood sugar was off the charts at his physical  and he gained 20 lbs in a few weeks.

If you miss these characters and all the other Pot Gamers head over to Bretwood this Saturday for a 8am tee off.  Remember call in to the Chuckster before 7:45 or you will be playing alone.