Thursday, April 4, 2019

Out of Hybernation

The snow is starting to melt, day light saving time has extended our days and Pot Gamers are trying to shed the extra pounds hanging over their belts.  Spring must be here..

Before we look ahead lets take a quick look back at some highlights of 2018.

Joey M otherwise known as your Tournament Director did another great job organizing two great days of fun and competition keeping the tradition of The Invitational alive and well.  The Deacon was smiling from somewhere (not sure if was looking down or up).  Commish and Molasses Boy selected their teams at the Fireman hosted Pick'em Party with perfection.  Grey team held a big lead going into singles on Sunday and watched as the Green wave racked points early but held on at the end for the win.  Everyone filled up on beer and wings and ribs and talked about they can't wait until next year.
Losers on the left Winners on the right (Photos by BB Productions)
BB created a new tournament called Pick-Your-Own Partner, which at times morphed into a Sadie Hawkins Dance. Commish wooed Torch and swept him off his feet.  The couple that won almost didn't happen.  Billy D aka The Fixer wanted Chris as his partner but Chris couldn't play on the scheduled day. So Billy D asked Jonas instead.  But when Chris rechecked his calendar in his phone he realized he could play.  Billy D was about to dump Jonas and ask Chris again but stopped himself in mid sentence. He rode Jonas's birdie barrage for the victory.

 
Commish asking Torch with a rose. (Photos by BB Productions)
Billy D and Jonus 2018 Champs (Photos by BB Productions)


BB Checking on the Patient (Photo courtesy of CFC's hot nurse)
CFC scared the crap out of everyone by having a heart attack and getting some new plumbing courtesy of CMC.  The doctors told him with more blood pumping through his system he should pick up 10-15 yards off the tee with his driver.  So back to the blue tees for 2019. 

Speaking of which 2018 was the year of the White Tee Sluts.  Molasses Boy started a stampede when he defied the Commish and declared he was going to the white tees.  Pretty soon all the old Pot Gamers looking to shot in the 70s again declared they were going white.  Dougie, Dr Dave, Chimney and Bear are rumored to thinking of making the switch for 2019.

According to an inside source of The Gazette's the start of the 2019 season may happen this weekend on the South course only.  It all depends on how much rain tomorrow and how much frost comes out of the ground.

The Big House has been putting pressure on Chuckster get some cash flow and to start selling memberships even when there was snow all over the course.  They made him man the Pro Shop in early March with no heat  (electricity too expense) or running water.  All he had was a thermos of hot coffee and his ear muffs to keep him warm.  Billy D was his first customer after came off the slopes and they negotiated how much it will cost the The Fixer to be guaranteed a great captain every Pot Game.  According to our source the cost went up more than double.

The Torch may have crossed over to the rainbow coalition side.  This winter he posted on Facebook how excited he was to receive his first pedicure.  I guess going on a date with Commish can really change a guy.

TJ, Chris and NNN sneaked away to Florida over the winter to keep their games sharp.  But Bermuda rough is not quite the same as frozen tundra and snow banks, so chances are they won't be as sharp as they think they will be.

Eric the Red former Pot Gamer and son of the infamous Cheez is now the head pro at Crotched Mtn Club in Francestown.   Congrats to him.



Who's Hot and Who's Not (Gazette's Crystal Ball)

Hot List

One of the Leslie Twins will be.  But we not sure if it will 40 or Fireman.  It hasn't come into focus yet.

Sandy has been training all winter since he nothing else to do because his beloved Cowboys stunk and he didn't waste his time watching them.

Jay Esch plays every day in sunny Florida but he never putts out.  He considers that part of the game a waste of his time.  Plus smooth greens of down South don't resemble the lumpy bumpy ones we play on.

Chimney his pivot on the wrong foot swing works in cold weather or hot.  His rama jama putting style is perfect for frozen greens.

Birdie will use his low ball flight in spring winds to his advantage, never mind the extra roll he will get from the frosty fairways.

Not List

Skrocki his medical marijuana card went through the washing machine and got destroyed and won't be replaced for several more weeks.  So he won't be as "chill" on the golf course this year as he was last year unless he finds a local supplier in the meantime.

Mad Dog has come down with new ailments over the winter.  He has a bad wrist from lifting up one of his beehives trying to scrape every last drop of honey for a few extra bucks.   He has eye strain from looking at his investments and stocks on his computers late into the night in a dark room (saving electricity).  Don't count on him to lead your team for at least a month or more.

Dicky Mac's  short swing doesn't work well in cold weather.  He needs at least 70 degrees to get all those carpet laying muscles warmed up enough to work.

Andy Mac's beer belly has grown back so he is in the process of revamping his swing to an out to in from an in to out.  Let's just say he is a work in progress.

Jerry Maguire made a few visits to his old stomping grounds in RI over the winter.  The only problem he pissed off a couple of mafia guys in a bar by talking too loud so now he is laying low out of sight.  In order to play golf he going to have to be in disguise which will really mess up his game more than usual.

Blais because he petitioned to go to the red tees and was denied by the Commish.  He wrote to the USGA rules committee for a clarification on legality of a one person dictatorship being able to set the rules for a group of golfers.  He wants majority rule.. I think he will be waiting a long time.


So dust off your clubs, check to see if you can still fit in your shorts and get ready to tee it up at old Bretwood this weekend.