Almost Time

The "Big House" is in full panic mode with no revenue from green fees and no membership dues coming in yet.  Two years ago they couldn't collect the money fast enough with opening day on St Patrick's Day.  It is so bad that Mad Dog had to cut way back on buying gold bars since his dividend checks aren't coming in yet.  Rumor has it he built a special room in his basement to store the gold bars. He calls it "Little Fort Knox".  Only he and his #1 son Mini know the combination to get in.

Molasses Boy had to be rushed to the emergency room on Sunday.  He thought he was having the "big one" when Tiger came within 1 stroke of the lead at Arnie's tournament.  The thought of Tiger almost winning and having to pay off all his big money bets that Tiger would never win again (he is very cheap) the stress overwhelmed him.  But before they could hook up the EKG to his chest, he found out Tiger snapped hooked it out of bounds and instantly the chest pains went away.

Dougie has vowed to play more golf this summer and do less hiking since he has conquered all the Presidential Range summits.   He wants to beat Billy D for the most rounds by a Pot Gamer.

CFC has decided to switch to right handed clubs.  He found out his swing speed is 22 mph faster from the right side.  Oh course his swing speed was measured by Jerry Maguire after he had consumed a few cocktails.  Being the youngest "White Tee Slut" he is willing to try anything that will move him back to the blue tees.

Blue Tees has been wintering in Florida for several months getting his game in shape.  When he comes back and consistently shoots in the low 70s, he figures the Commish will have to make him a Captain.

Bear will have to find a new putting stroke because after his knee replacement he put on so much padding around his middle he can't see the golf ball from his normal stance.  Plus he thinks he is going back to carrying his bag and walking 18 holes...can we say oxygen will be needed.

NNN has decided that the Pot Game is a joke (someone else said that once).  He has told the Gazette he will only play in State and New England wide tournaments where he can be challenged by his peers and receive the publicity he seeks.  I guess Chris McL taking his Cities title away from him did a tune on his ego.

Sadly there won't be any Roy Boys playing in the Pot Games this summer.  Danny aka The Mixologist was told by his girlfriend that his golfing days are over.   It may have something to do with her finding out about him playing a few Saturdays last summer when she was away and he missed her call while he was enjoying a cold one on the deck.  So sad...

If you spot any of these former Pot Gamers make sure to extend an invitation for them to come back to play with us anytime.  Scotty-Steve,  Coach,  Donny Roy,  Sr,  Jr,  Sully,  Murt,  New Orleans Nicky and The Cat.

Time To Get Ready

As the snow slowly melts away from the last week's March blizzard, thoughts of teeing it up by St Patty's Day seem unrealistic but opening day is not that far away.  So now is the time to get your swing in shape or plan a quick trip to CT or the Cape to work out the kinks.

Below are the wishes for some of the Pot Gamers for this coming season as told to the Gazette by family, friends, enemies and the rumor mill at the Friday coffees.

House wants Loy to show up every weekend so he can play him a three hole match from the golds after each has consumed at least three beers.  Neither one ever has any cigarettes on them so it will interesting who succumbs to nicotine withdrawal first.

Jimmy The Torch wants Bear to declare auto dogs with him every week.  I would not bet on that happening.

Fireman wants to heal after he hip checked his way onto the injured list playing adult hockey.   He could be joining the knee surgery club this spring.


Chimney wants to continue his reign as champion on the chipping green for mythical dollars.  Chimney's technique of hooding his wedge and stabbing the ball taking mini divots is driving Fireman crazy.

DMac wants to find the player who is ruining the collar around the chipping green taking mini divots.

Cheez wants to find a new group to play with since he has been kicked out of the "Sticks" for the following rules violations:  Failure to pick up any flag sticks during a round, clearing his throat when someone is putting, not knowing where his ball went after he hits it and putting to a palm frond  instead of the hole costing his team the match.

Commish wants to be accident free for 2018 after the following in previous years.  Burns down house using hairdryer to thaw out pipes, squashes finger in truck gate and has Vet set it with an arc to fit on golf club,  Smashes thumb with an axe,  drives Rat Mobile into ditch breaking multiple ribs,  falls down flight of stairs trying to find bathroom,  rolls tractor he is driving backward over hill smashing fencing for alpacas and goats sending them in all directions.

Commish Showing Tractor Skills

Joey M wants to find a way to eliminate all white tee sluts from the Durling since it cost him from being on the winning team last year.  Speaking of the Durling save the dates of August 24th for Pick'em Party and 25-26th for matches.

Billy D wants to find a way to get back in Joey M's good graces having blown off the Durling last year for a fishing trip.

Molasses Boy wants to go to the red tees so he can shot his age every week.  If he pulls another tantrum like last year he will have no group to play with because the head of the Teachers group said they don't want him either.

Skrocki wants to finish his rehab so he and his new hip can tee it up on opening day.  Maybe his bad hip was the cause of his chipping woes.

Birdie wants to challenge Commish to another Battle At the Beav this summer.  But most of all he wants more clear thinking liberals like him to join the Pot Game.

TJ wants his wrists to stop flipping on him at impact causing the his famous duck hook.  He has been scouring the internet all winter to find golf gloves that restrict wrist movement.

BB wants to add 20 yards to his drives to keep up with his sons.  He installed a launch monitor at his indoor driving range to tract his launch angle.  When Nick and Jack were asked for comment they just smiled.

Mad Dog wants to jack his handicap up so he won't have to give strokes in all his dollar-a-hole matches.  He has been consulting with Otis who has a Masters Degree in sand bagging as to how best to go about it.

Mini wants to find another winter job after he quit working for Mad Dog's new venture the Pot Of Gold Pub.  It seems Mad Dog loved Ireland so much he used some of his millions to open an Irish Pub in his basement and hired Mini to be the bartender.   Mini quit when he found out he had to wear a leprechaun outfit during parties.







Chuckster wants all Pot Gamers to call in on time and to not have to listen to their stories recounting every shot when they come in from playing bad.

Andy Mac wants to see if his new swing will turn his hooks into the power fade he desires so he can start racking in the dollars from all his matches he has on auto dogs.

Jay Esch wants the same thing every year.  He wants to figure out which way his putts break at Bretwood without asking his playing partners.  That wish is most likely dead on arrival.

What we all want is to gather each weekend, play a little golf, then laugh and tell stories on the deck.  Which is what makes the Pot Game special.