Succumbed To The Pressure

Bretwood Under Blanket of Snow 3/27/14

Mad Dog in an exclusive interview with the Bretwood Pot Game Gazette admitted that he predicted Opening Day for March 29th while he was under tremendous pressure from the Big House to produce early season revenue.  They were spoiled when he sold hundreds of memberships on St Patricks Day in 2012.  He went to extremes to try to make his prediction come true, he purchased dozens of Pink Lady golf balls for Pot Gamers to use on the snow covered fairways, he ordered snow blowers to clear the greens, stocked up on hot chocolate for the Snack Shacks and bought extra hand warmers to give out on the first tee.  But alas the new old Commish told him to "forget about it", there would be no official Pot Game until the course is clear of snow, green grass is showing and temps are in the low 60s.  As we left the interview we watched as Mad Dog dialed Skooger's cellphone to see if he could unload his Pink Lady golf balls on him.
 

Porky's New Venture

Porky checked in with the Gazette to let us know he has given up golf and has opened a new venture.  Since he has been on the West Coast he has fallen in love with sushi.  So he has decided to open his own restaurant.  He sent us a picture of his establishment.

Billy D is exhausted after following up a 120 round 2013 golf season with a record setting 36 days of skiing in VT.  Usually skiing is over before he polishes up his golf clubs but this year he will transition right into golf with boots and skis still caked with snow.  Good thing he has Gretchen to massage his aches and pains.

Sally thought Cheez was playing way to much golf and not enjoying it, so she found him a job.  The Villages opened a new Pharmacy and Cheez was hired for the night shift.  Night shift at the Villages is between Early Bird Hour and Bed time 4:30pm to 8:30pm.  Cheez mentioned he mostly fills Viagra and Cialis prescriptions along with nitroglycerine tablets.

Bear Cave

Brad-Brian sent in pictures of his new indoor range complete with golf mat, net, beer fridge and golf signs hanging on the wall.  He has been practicing all winter long in what he calls the "Bear Cave".  The editor of The Gazette was humbled to think Brad-Brian would name his range after him.  What an honor.  He invites all Pot Gamers to head over to hit a few and chug a few brews before the course opens .

Gary with TJ's Ball

TJ has already received the first X of 2014.  He received the honor of earliest X ever when he sneaked off to FL to play golf with Cheez while pretending he was working hard.  He did meet his match when he sliced a drive near a pond on one of The Villages premier courses and it was gobbled up by Gary the Gator. 

Fireman needs a new name.  Truck was appropriate when he actually drove a firetruck, but now with his lofty new assistant chief title it is time to get him a new nickname.  So send in your suggestions to the Gazette. 

Ginger

Pudge has been out straight at Dick's dealing with all the new golf inventory, so he wasn't able to break away for a "Spring Break" with Ginger.  But it didn't stop her as she headed off to Fl with her sister Gretchen for a few days of fun in the sun.

Springtime In The Air

With Opening Day less than two weeks away, The Pot Game already had to make a tee time reservation with the Pro Shop for the 29th.  It is 8am on the "Pool Course".  Don't be late because no frost delay is anticipated.

Our crack investigative reporter has discovered that the course underground heating system was not shut off by "The Big House" to save money but by The Chuckster because he wasn't ready to go back to work seven days a week.  Tractorman reports that it is fully functional now and has the course in great shape for opening day.

Birdie and Fireman may not make the Opener as they have been practicing for the 8th Annual Turkey Calling Contest.  They were only spectators last year but decided to give it a go this year.  They are going to enter as a tandem with Birdie calling all turkeys on the far left and Fireman calling them from the far right.  Wish them luck when you see them.

The Gazette received their Masters press passes last week.  Their editor will be departing on April 9th so he won't be available that weekend to play in the Pot Game.  Anyone who needs Master's gear should contact him with a wishlist including sizes.

2012 St Paddy's Day

Just two years ago, 2012 the first Pot Game was played on St Pats Day.  There were 12 players and temps in the high 20s.  According to Mad Dog it was the earliest opening ever in the long history of Bretwood. 

Cheez found his game last week when he was breaking 80 with a pair of 79s.  He thinks he is clear of the dreaded laterals.  We asked him how he cured himself of the most feared shot in golf.  He told us he found out he hit them because he was shifting his weight too far onto his toes on the downswing.  On the practice range his cure was to tape a golf ball under each of his shoes near the toe so it forces his weight onto his heels.  It worked so well he had custom shoes made with a heel under the toe. He is duck hooking everything but he doesn't care as long as it isn't a lateral.  Only thing now is he can barely walk in them to get back to his cart.

Gretchen the Caddy

Billy D played a few rounds of golf when he was in Florida.  Gretchen had volunteered to caddy and drive his cart while he played.  She bought an outfit especially for the job.

Remember When

Mad Dog and Pudge were NASCAR crazy and had their little model cars on the shelf in the Pro Shop lined up based upon race results.

House was sent packing to the B Boys by the Commish for shooting in the 90s twice in a row.

Fireman was a lowly fireman driving trucks and running pumps instead of the lofty Little Chief position he holds now.

Billy D's kids were satisfied when he bought them a few candy bars instead of having to buy them new iphones. 

Pot Gamers talked about how far their drives went instead of what body part is sore or injured.

Jay Esch use to partner with Skrocki in Friday gold game matches against even tempered Johnny Hollar

Chuckster actually got to play in the Pot Game instead of playing in the Pro Shop.

Dickie Mac was taking credit from Blog readers for all the low scores DMac was shooting in the Pot Games.

Blue Tees thought he could convince Commish to play the white tees.

There were three times as many players in the Open division of the Cities than the Senior division.

Skooger played with a pink ball embarrassing himself and his playing partners.

Adrian use to hit out of trouble with his wedge instead of his foot.

Hilow on your team guaranteed you a piece of the Pot.

Commish left hard core XXX porn pics on the tee boxes at Crotched Mtn Pro Am so the KCC team would find them.

Cheez putted to a leaf instead of the hole and wondered why his partners weren't congratulating him for a great lag.

Skrocki played 6 rounds of golf with the same ball before drowning it on the 13th hole.

Bear had to play alternate shot with a partner who broke his putter on the 10th hole, so he had to aim at fringes so his partner could chip.

Brad-Brian only use to have one name and no kids.

Chimney knocked it on the 18th north from the trees next to the 2nd green.

Deacon had the "secret box" in his cart instead of the man purse he carries now.

Birdie was going to make millions with his Altoids vending machines.

Rama was given the task of converting all the carts at Bretwood to covered ones within a week.

Joey M use to partner with the "One Who Moved To The Cape" in state four ball tournaments.

Dougie took a year off to coach soccer.

Triple N's game was too good for the Pot Game.

Brett found he could find a fairway once in a while and score better if he left his driver in the bag.

Dr Dave only took money off Charlie Donahue on Thursdays not large chunks of the Pot on Saturdays.

TJ was the new guy with a big drive and lots of questions.

Bayou Bomber thought the Pot Game was some strange ritual played on the deck.

Sandy had to be referred to as "Champ".

Otis thought water skiing with his family was more important than the Invitational.

Forty thought running the Twilight League would be fun.

Sully and Murt would be deck dwellers well into the afternoon.

Molasses Boy was two inches taller before he decided to slide off his roof.

Jerry Mag lost his range finder on the practice range and was lost without it.

Roy Boys were as plentiful in the Pot Game as fleas on a dog.

Is It Spring Yet?

Ready For Opening Day

Hard to believe Opening Day is 25 days away.  Mad Dog's crystal ball predicts global warming will kick in the third week of March and melt all the snow just in time for the 28th.  The Big House shut all the underground heaters off in a cost saving measure other wise they were going to have to raise membership fees.  But they found a way to clear the course in order to be ready, they are trying out a new snow blower.  The told the dealership they will make a decision when they have finished clearing the course whether they will buy or not.

Luke in a Putin like attempt tried to wrestle control of Bretwood from the Big House this winter.  But he was caught before he could acquire enough stock.  So now instead of being in the line of succession he has been cut off and written out of the will.  Mini took his place.

Clearwater Beach

Billy D and Gretchen just got back from sunny Florida.  They spent several days hanging out with Billy's kids on Clearwater Beach.  If you look real close you can see Gretchen topless in the upper right hand corner of the picture Billy sent us.

Deacon has been fighting off pneumonia so he been unable to work on recruiting players for the Invitational.  Tractorman has sent him his waiting list from "Randy & Friends" to help him fill out his field.  What a nice guy.

Pudge has not announced how may Red, White & Blue tournaments he is planning on hosting this year.  He did say that now that the new (old) Commish is back in charge, he made add an extra one because he knows how much Commish loves the format.

Ginger

Speaking of the Commish, he told the Gazette he will not be playing until the temperature hits 50 degrees which could be June at this rate.  Too bad because Pudge said he was having Ginger caddy for him on Opening Day and the Commish really wanted to meet her.

The Hole-In-One pool is currently at $880 for those players who paid for all three previous pools.  So with the new one this year it will be worth over $1,000.  That's a lot of beers.  So practice your iron play before opening day.