You guessed it, after only two weeks back at the Villages, Cheez has been kicked out of another group already. The Eight Eighties revoked their invitation to him. They play from the Senior tees which are in front of the ladies tees. We have learned that in the two times Cheez played he has not been able to break 80 even once from the Sr tees. "We have standards and Mr Sandstrum has not been able to meet those. So we had to let him go," said the Eight Eighties Commissioner. Ouch...
Commish has opened an investigation as to how Deacon who consistently shoots in the 80s continues to win pot money and skins every weekend. "He is up to something and I plan to get to the bottom of it," Commish said. Deacon refused to be interviewed for this story. The Gazette thinks the answer lies in his "Man Purse". More on this later.
Mrs Commish has been online shopping at the Ice Cube No More Store, specializing in Arctic men's wear. She bought Commish electric boxer shorts to keep his boys warm during the cold fall playing conditions he is always complaining to her about. We hope there won't be any short circuits.
Pudge has announced that the 2012 Nine At Nine on Thanksgiving morning is a go. When Blue Tees found out he immediately went to the liquor store to resupply his Bailey's Irish Cream for his special concoction offered up in the parking lot. Even if frost prevents playing that day, it is always a good time see fellow Pot Gamers on Turkey Day. Come over for a libation at least.
When you walk by Fireman's Forest on the first hole on the North course you will notice the dedication plaque already has a few dents in it. Mad Dog has narrowed the suspects who may have caused the dents down to Fireman, Chimney and the duck hooking TJ. We think they are all guilty.
Tractorman has been frustrated with his game lately and has been taking it out on his equipment. Last week he tomahawked his 5 iron so deep in the turf he had to go get Big Blue to pull it out of the ground. His wife decided his talent shouldn't go untapped and has signed him up for real tomahawk throwing competitions this winter. He could be a big winner if he could use golf clubs instead.
Dougie after looking at the temporary shelter Bretwood built for Chelso last winter to practice in has donated his architectural skills to design a post & beam state of the art practice barn. It will have remote controlled barn doors, solar heat, real grass mats and a gym for Chelso's work outs. It is so large that starting in 2013 there will no longer be any room for members to practice. Are you kidding me.
Rama had to go see the doctor recently because he thought he blew out his ear drum. It seems after a bad shot he has been trying to hold back from filling the air with his favorite expressions like "Swahili Cock Boxer" or "Sons of Beetches". Holding back has built up tremendous pressure behind his ears causing him to think his ear drums had been damaged. The doctor told him not to hold back, to let go with every obscenity he can think of as a way to relive the pressure. So prepare yourselves for more Ramaisums filling the air soon.
Mini claims he hasn't been playing at all because he has been so busy landscaping. Yet he has been shooting low scores. So the Gazette placed a hidden camera (borrowed from Birdie's Moose Cam collection) on the 40mobile to see if he was telling the truth or not. What we found was he and 40 playing 6 to 9 holes every evening when no one was around. Caught in the act. The Gazette wishes to thank the anonymous tipster who turned us on to this information who goes by the alias Captain America.
With rumors swirling that Mad Dog is really going to retire this time, we interviewed Chuckie as to what if any plans he had for the Pro Shop upon Mad Dog's retirement. He pulled out from under the counter a set of plans for the renovation of the lower level of the Bretwood Club House. The plans revealed a new members lounge (men only) with leather couches, LCD 70" TV and private bar to be staffed with Keene State coeds. It doesn't stop there as there will be a locker room (men only) with free shoe shines and mahogany lockers with brass name plates. Can't wait for Chuckie to take over.
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