See You Soon...Maybe?

 

March 28th View Of 14 &15 North

It looks like the underground heating system has worked its magic and the snow is almost all gone.  Which means the Mad Dog may soon have to go back to work (if you call 10 hrs a week work).  Billy D will be putting his skis back in the closet and slipping his new Taylor Made irons in his bag.  The Roy Boys will be formulating their excuses why they can't play.  Commish will be watching the thermometer to see if his fingers will be warm enough to play.  Cheez starts to plan his northern migration for the last time (arrival expected May 15th).  Birdie breaks out his two Championship hats to wear in front of the Commish.  Fireman adjusts his work schedule so he is available to play every day.  Forty starts hitting wedges from his yard over Mini's house onto the 8th green to prepare his short game. Bear shovels the two feet of snow off his range mat so he can hit wedges into the snow banks still in his yard.  Skrocki puts his new sleeve of balls (Top Flights) Santa brought him in his bag with his other gently used balls.  Deacon has been practicing lining up all his twenties facing in the same direction in case he gets asked to manage the pot. Suzy orders Sr Pro to get his F___ing Ass off his bar stool and onto the golf course with fellow Pot Gamers.  Jay Esh hits his FL putting green hard to be ready for when he heads north.  TJ will be putting his 12 new swing theories into play.  Chuckster can't wipe the smile off his face after hundreds of Bartender interviews for his new Men's Lounge.  Tractorman prepares to cut his first diabolical pin placements of the 2013 season.  Triple N holds out hope he will actually get a real nickname (not).  Murt plans his comeback with his new Sully supplied hip.  Chimney puts down his brushes and picks up his toed in slicing clubs.  Dougie covers up his drafting board and places his clubs in the trunk of his car.  Rama changes his cell number so The Big House can't call him mid round.  Sandy plots how he will win the Club Championship.  Joey M packs away his Giant gear and breaks out his pinstripes.  Pudge prepares his who's hot and who's not list so he knows who to tap for the Pro Am circuit.  Blue Tees has to decide what color Master's hat he wants as the winner of the match the Pot Gamer to PGA Pro contest.  Skooger breaks open his piggy bank so he can buy popcorn on the deck.  Little Bow Pete finally removed the surgery screws he has been carrying around for two years in his golf bag.  Hagen throws his hat in the ring for Week Day Commissioner.  Lenny raises the price of his house so he doesn't have to live at the Villages yr round with you know who.  Brad-Brian petitions Commish for reinstatement (still pending).  Otis has his handicap just where he wants it after posting online scores for FL courses which he never played.  Mini claims he had a mini stroke over the winter and lost peripheral vision in his right eye (just like Daddy).  Luke has been drawing up plans for changes to the course and clubhouse for when he takes over in 2017 (It it will be called Lukewood).  House is a B Boy so who cares.

Snow Bound Tales

Chuckie's New Bartender-Katie

It is rumored The Big House will be announcing a major dues increase because of the expected late opening of the course and the cost over runs of the Chuckster's new Men's lounge and locker room.  Chuckster has pleaded his case that the increase in bar revenue will more than make up for any green fee loses.  Based on the look of who he has hired he may be right.

Blue Tees will be in mid season form if we ever get to play.  He played with the Cheez at the Villages a few weeks ago.  Cheez a shadow of his former self (mid 80s shooter) was no match for Blue Tees so he hosted him for lunch instead.

Commish will be implementing some new rules this year.  If you can't play in 3.5 hrs then you and your partners will get an X.  He has one maybe two players in mind that he will be placing on the front tees (red) to keep them competitive.  A few more players may become "White Tee Sluts".  He has pledged he won't try to sabotage the "Gold Game" again like he did last year.  He has also pledged to play more than his pitiful number of appearances (almost Roy Boy like) last year.

The Vulch has been working hard on his game at the Villages.  He sent word back to the Gazette that he is thinking of playing in the Pot Games again this summer.  When he plays at 6am by himself, he has nobody to blame for his poor play.  He really misses playing with Mad Dog and Joey M.  We are sure they miss him too... :)

Mad Dog has been practicing his driving skills to try to improve for his loss of peripheral vision.  He has Mini stand in his driveway like a highway cone and he steers around him.  So far Mini has only had to jump out of the way five times.  His driving is improving or maybe it is the orange jumpsuit Mini wears that helps him out.

Little Bow Pete has been holding tryouts for a new league partner.  With George out of commission and Deacon on IR, he is desperate.  The first requirement is someone who will take the pledge to never under any circumstances concede a putt to the opponent.  What he is finding is not all golfers need to win at all costs, some people actually enjoy just playing the game and having a few beers.  So as of right now he has no partner.

Forty is making plans to hold his own tournament this summer.  He hasn't named it yet or set a date.  We have heard that the course will be set up with all dogleg lefts.  He and Tractorman are busy laying out the holes and tee locations.  I guess he doesn't want his Brother to succeed... Fireman may make his own tournament where every hole goes to the right.  Then you would want Fireman, Chimney or a duck hooking TJ on your team.

His Game Is Just Like

This comes from the fertile mind of our own Commish....

Match the Pot Gamers with the PGA player who you think either looks like them, acts like them or swing resembles them. Use the comment section on blog to display your choices and give your reasons why they match.  Winner with most creative matches will get a new Masters hat courtesy of The Gazette.

Pot Gamers Bear Billy D Birdie Blue Tees Brad-Brian Cabot Cheez Chimney Chuckie Commish Deacon Dougie Fireman Forty Hagen House Jay Esh Joey M Little Bow Pete Mad Dog Mini Murt Otis Pudge Rama Sandy Scotty-Steve Skooger Skrocki Sr Pro TJ Triple N Tractorman

PGA Players Johnny Miller Tom Watson Tiger Woods Steve Melnyk Dave Stockton Doug Sanders Nick Faldo Luke Donald Vijay Singh Allen Doyle Ben Crenshaw Bernhard Langer Steve Pate Craig Stadler Kenny Perry Fuzzy Zoeller Larry Nelson Tommy Armour III Fred Couples Bubba Watson Boo Weekley David Toms Sergio Garcia Jason Gore Rickie Fowler David Duval John Cook Mark Calcavecchia Guy Boros Tommy Gainey Justin Leonard Jesper Parnevik Ian Poulter Lee Trevino Justin Rose Matt Kuchar John Daly

Pre-Season Prognostication

The Injured Reserve List:

Deacon with broken wing (bad shoulder) and full of chemo, will be sitting out the early season.  Don't count him out when the weather warms up though.  He should be a slimmed down version of himself as he has been skipping the three donut breakfast in favor of the one donut breakfast for the last month.

Blue Tees may not be on the list long if he gets released from the Calm Water's Institution his family enrolled him in this winter.  Calm Water's is for men who don't play well with others without getting mad and frustrated.  The final test before being released is to play one round of golf without stomping your feet and turning bright red...  Rumor has it Joey M volunteered to play with him during his final exam to "help him" graduate.  What a nice guy...

Hot Out Of The Box List:

Jay Esch wintering in sunny FL is in mid season form so should be a great Captain to have or better yet a two man on your team.   He may struggle on the greens early because he will be looking for which way the grain is growing, but by July he should be fine.

Dougie set up a net at his school and has been hitting balls all winter long.  He has been working on shaping the ball both ways.  He is tired of the straight ball and wants more excitement in his life like Fireman or Chimney have with their permanent curvature.

TJ texted the Gazette and wanted to be included on the "Hot List" because he has a whole new set of irons and a new driver which the salesman (Pudge) guaranteed him would improve his game by 5 strokes a round.  He said on the launch monitor he was only hooking them 8 yards which he thinks he can live with..  Wow that's straight for him.

40 has been getting swing tips from Mini all winter.  "It was a little awkward at first but by bending my elbows to shorten my arc and rotating my body real fast, I was able to duplicate his swing," 40 told the Gazette.  He lost a few yards in distance but his hook is gone.  We did notice he also drives the 40mobile different as well.  He now sits up on the front edge of the seat and rests his left arm on the top of steering wheel and appears to be steering with his arm instead of his hand, kind of Mad Dog like...

Could Be Rough Start List:

Commish has added 2 lbs of new muscle from shoveling Donkey shit all winter.  His Popeye arms has shortened his already compact swing, so length could be a factor for him.  Not sure if his famous flop chipping style will affected or not.

Bear has grown this winter a little sideways but mostly out the front.  His putting will affected as he struggles to see the golf ball when he bends over.  Look for his handicap to soar to Otis like heights in the early going.

Skooger attended "Stand Up Comic" school in January.  He wants to more beloved on the deck and to be able to tell jokes that are actually funny.  Unfortunately he flunked out in the first week.  So it will definitely be affecting his play.

Penny Pincher List

Cheez already the cheapest Pot Gamer has decided not to join in 2013 because he hopes to sell his house and move away permanently to The Villages.  If he did the math he would realize that his entire membership would be paid for within two months of his arrival because he plays every day.  Mad Dog is happy to have him pay green fees instead.

House wrote to the Gazette to say if he plays in this year's Pot Game he expects that he should be paid an appearance fee.  He said the way he gets picked on on the deck an the number of birdies and eagles he makes for his team that he deserves compensation.  The Commish's response was not printable but it something to do with he would shove a piece of House's equipment in a place the sun doesn't shine.  In other words House will be playing in the B group this year.

Muddy March Morsels

Commish has been practicing his stinger drivers by hitting off a mat in the back of his barn and seeing if his shots stay low enough to launch out the front door and over the goat pen.  Only two goats and six rabbits have been injured so far. 

Cheez finally has found a group he fits with at the Villages.  After being kicked out of "The Sticks" for shooting in the 80s all the time, he was invited to play with a Ladies group called "The Winers".  At first he was insulted until he found out they only play 9 holes (which is free) and then drink wine the rest of the afternoon.  So far they love him...but we all know how that turns out in the end.

Pudge was voted employee of the year at Dick's Sporting Goods in NH.  The reason given was besides his sparkling personality, he sold more golf clubs than any other store.   In his acceptance speech he credited his fellow Pot Gamers for being loyal customers especially one who instead of heeding Pudge's swing and grip advice, constantly blames his equipment which makes for lots of new sales.

Lenny recently petitioned Commish to move to the Red Tees this summer.  He said it was getting too crowded on the White Tees with all the 70 year olds moving to the whites.   Commish told him he would take it under consideration if it meant he would play faster.

Mr Clean (same earring)

Steven Van Zandt

Deacon with his recent chemo treatments is anticipating losing his "Don King" hairstyle.  He hasn't decided if he should go with the Mr Clean look or Steven Van Zandt scarf.  He is looking for your input.




 Luke has decided to play in more Pot Games this summer.  Word on the street is he is trying to gain back his #1 favorite child ranking with Mr & Mrs Mad Dog, after dropping well behind his brother Jay and Mini into third place.  Good luck with that..

Rama has organized a work stoppage at the Bretwood Maintenance Shed.  He has let the "Big House" know he is not available for repairs nights or weekends.  He is committed to improving his game and therefore will be playing every weekend in the Pot Game.  No word on whether his companion who is nicknamed after a piece of "blue" equipment is on board or not.

Gretchen

Billy D has been spring skiing with Gretchen.  As you can see by this recent photo she doesn't need the traditional ski outfit to have fun.  Looks like Billy picks out all her outfits.  What's with the tank?

Sr Pro spends so much time at Gino's that they installed a net in the back of the building so he can practice hitting irons all winter long while enjoying his Coors Lights.   Rumor has it he will be a regular back at the Pot Games. Only one patron was injured so far when Sr Pro shanked one and caught the guy in a very sensitive area as he came out of the men's room.