Pre-Season Prognostication

The Injured Reserve List:

Deacon with broken wing (bad shoulder) and full of chemo, will be sitting out the early season.  Don't count him out when the weather warms up though.  He should be a slimmed down version of himself as he has been skipping the three donut breakfast in favor of the one donut breakfast for the last month.

Blue Tees may not be on the list long if he gets released from the Calm Water's Institution his family enrolled him in this winter.  Calm Water's is for men who don't play well with others without getting mad and frustrated.  The final test before being released is to play one round of golf without stomping your feet and turning bright red...  Rumor has it Joey M volunteered to play with him during his final exam to "help him" graduate.  What a nice guy...

Hot Out Of The Box List:

Jay Esch wintering in sunny FL is in mid season form so should be a great Captain to have or better yet a two man on your team.   He may struggle on the greens early because he will be looking for which way the grain is growing, but by July he should be fine.

Dougie set up a net at his school and has been hitting balls all winter long.  He has been working on shaping the ball both ways.  He is tired of the straight ball and wants more excitement in his life like Fireman or Chimney have with their permanent curvature.

TJ texted the Gazette and wanted to be included on the "Hot List" because he has a whole new set of irons and a new driver which the salesman (Pudge) guaranteed him would improve his game by 5 strokes a round.  He said on the launch monitor he was only hooking them 8 yards which he thinks he can live with..  Wow that's straight for him.

40 has been getting swing tips from Mini all winter.  "It was a little awkward at first but by bending my elbows to shorten my arc and rotating my body real fast, I was able to duplicate his swing," 40 told the Gazette.  He lost a few yards in distance but his hook is gone.  We did notice he also drives the 40mobile different as well.  He now sits up on the front edge of the seat and rests his left arm on the top of steering wheel and appears to be steering with his arm instead of his hand, kind of Mad Dog like...

Could Be Rough Start List:

Commish has added 2 lbs of new muscle from shoveling Donkey shit all winter.  His Popeye arms has shortened his already compact swing, so length could be a factor for him.  Not sure if his famous flop chipping style will affected or not.

Bear has grown this winter a little sideways but mostly out the front.  His putting will affected as he struggles to see the golf ball when he bends over.  Look for his handicap to soar to Otis like heights in the early going.

Skooger attended "Stand Up Comic" school in January.  He wants to more beloved on the deck and to be able to tell jokes that are actually funny.  Unfortunately he flunked out in the first week.  So it will definitely be affecting his play.

Penny Pincher List

Cheez already the cheapest Pot Gamer has decided not to join in 2013 because he hopes to sell his house and move away permanently to The Villages.  If he did the math he would realize that his entire membership would be paid for within two months of his arrival because he plays every day.  Mad Dog is happy to have him pay green fees instead.

House wrote to the Gazette to say if he plays in this year's Pot Game he expects that he should be paid an appearance fee.  He said the way he gets picked on on the deck an the number of birdies and eagles he makes for his team that he deserves compensation.  The Commish's response was not printable but it something to do with he would shove a piece of House's equipment in a place the sun doesn't shine.  In other words House will be playing in the B group this year.