Buried In White

40 and Mini Sneaking On North

With a storm last week and another coming this week Mad Dog's prediction of Opening Day on March 28th seems a little optimistic.  However Tractorman assures the Gazette that the new underground heaters under each green will allow for an early opening.  40 and Mini couldn't wait as they played a few holes in the snow last week.

Bullwinkle in Birdie's LR

Birdie took his house off the market after six months of trying to sell it.  Triple N was not available for comment by press time as to why he couldn't get the job done for Birdie.  A look at the listings interior pictures of his LR on the MLS showed a possible reason.  Customers who want Keene come here because it is the most liberal part of NH where all the legalize weed, anti hunting element, green power, gather together. Rumor has it that he is waiting for Cheez to come home before he puts it back on the market, then he will challenge Cheez as to who can sell their house the fastest.

Commish Dressed For Spring Golf

With Commish back in power certain Pot Gamers will be looking over their shoulders when they drive into the parking lot this spring.  As you will remember that is his favorite spot to terminate players he thinks no longer fit into the Pot Game. The list of Pot Gamers sent on their way never to be seen again was quite extensive when he was reigning over the Pot Game.  He may dress like a 6yr old sent out to play in the snow by his Mother, but don't let his fashion fool you, he still packs a verbal punch.

Ginger "Practicing"

Pudge's date with Ginger over the holidays seem to go well.  He has been giving her private after hour lessons at Dick's Sporting Goods range.  According to Fritz the Cat, they have been "practicing" quite frequently always with the heat turned way up.  Pudge told him it was because her swing felt too restrictive with too many clothes on.  Whatever works...

Dougie is in the planning stages for his 3rd Annual Road Trip tournament.  The last two years they have been played on mountain courses in VT.  The word is that he is eyeing some MA courses that are a little flatter.  The strongest rumor so far has it being played at the International course in Bolton MA from the Tiger tees over 8,000 yards long.  It doesn't matter where its played Dougie will be in the winners circle when its over.

The Pines Course At The International

52 Days

Brad-Brian's New Range

Opening Day according to Mad Dog is on March 28th which is only 52 days away.  Chuckie and Brad-Brian will be in mid season form because of their new indoor practice ranges.  TJ was going to put one in his new garage but was nervous it wouldn't be safe with a heavy snow load on the roof since it already collapsed once.

Commish has been busy writing new Pot Game rules for when he takes over in 2014.  One of the rules is aimed at Molasses Boy, which says you need to play in 3:45 minutes or less.  If not your team will incur a two stroke penalty. He tried to have Bear give him the Hole-In-One pool money but Bear refused when he found out he wanted to use it to buy rabbit food.

Birdie is close to retiring from the "Battle Of The Beav" because his opponent (Commish) has been noncompetitive in the last few matches.  Birdie is thinking of calling out Pudge for more of a challenge.  Commish might be able to start a new "Hat" match with House. 

Cheez sent a letter to the "Big House" asking for a May-June only membership discount.  He thinks his house will be sold by July and he will be back in the Villages by midsummer.  Mad Dog said after the laughter died down in the "Big House", they used the letter as a fire starter in the woodstove.  So I guess the Cheez will have to buy a full membership or pay green fees.

Deacon took note as to who bought pitchers of beer at his "Chili Party" and who didn't.  He will be calling out those players who didn't on the deck to buy a rack or face his wrath all summer.  Speaking of Deacon, even though he is in a slightly weaken state chances are he will still be able to clear families off the deck in less than 3 minutes with his "F" laced language and booming voice.

Sorry to say if you didn't already commit to "Randy & Friends" it is too late.  Tractorman reports that he has a waiting list of 12 players hoping someone will drop out.  It promises to be a major event for a long time to come. But we have it on good authority that the Invitational has only filled half their field so far.  So if you are looking to play you might want to ask Blue Tees if he can help you get an invite as he is rumored to be one of the Captains this year.

KFD Pole

Fireman is determined to cure his slice this summer.  One of the golf instruction articles he read over the winter talked about curing the slice by building up your forearms.  So he has been climbing up the fire pole instead of sliding down it all winter.  He can't use the pole on Friday nights though as that is reserved for the "After Hour" entertainment KFD amateur stripper contest.  Friday night duty is very popular.

Happy New Year 2014

According to Mad Dog's prediction there are only 88 days until the first Pot Game, so start practicing.

House in Maine

Santa didn't bring House new golf clubs so he had to earn the money by heading to Maine to clear ice and tree limbs off of power lines.  Don't feel too sorry for him as he was earning triple overtime  wages for his efforts..

Cheez as given up golf for a new sport.  He has joined The Village's Precision Golf Cart Drill Team.  They perform at funerals and weddings so they are booked all the time.

Merry Christmas 2013

Have Yourself A Merry Little Pot Game

Have yourself a merry little Pot Game
Let your swing be right
From now on, our drives will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Pot Game
Make the other teams pay
From now on, our doubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden (game) days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
So spin a shining ball upon the highest tier
And have yourself a merry little Pot Game now

Have yourself a merry little Pot Game
Let your swing be right
From now on, our drives will be out of sight
Have yourself a merry little Pot Game
Make the other teams pay

From now on, our doubles will be miles away
Here we are as in olden days
Happy golden (game) days of yore
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more
Through the years we all will be together
If the fates allow
So spin a shining ball upon the highest tier
And have yourself a merry little Pot Game now

Billy D and Sr Pro sent in Christmas photos of their girlfriends for you to enjoy.

Gretchen

Suzy

To all fellow Pot Gamers Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the staff of The Gazette.  Enjoy time with your families.

Hot Chili On A Chilly Night

Deacon has done it again.. In the middle of winter's Holiday Season he is able to get most of the Pot Game regulars to come out on a cold night for some homemade chili, plump rolls, slices of pie and plenty of pitchers of beer.  After a few pitchers to loosen up the lips old stories and fresh rumors start flying around.

Blue Tees may be bidding us farewell as he has prepaid for a 2014 membership at Shattuck.  Makes sense as that is right in his backyard but he may be giving up his chance as an Invitational Captain in 2014.

Pudge sneaked in at the end of the night but with enough time left to buy a pitcher and stay off  Deacon's "Naughty List".  He had a big smile on his face just thinking about his upcoming dream date with Ginger that his buddy Billy D gave him for Christmas.

Skooger told Deacon he probably won't come back next year because there was no popcorn.  Just before the party started Deacon had the Bowling Alley owner move their big popcorn machine to the back room out of sight.  I am sure it was just to make more room for the party.

Deacon did catch another unsuspecting Bowler trying to steal a bowl full of chili.  He waited until the misguided soul had ladled it into his bowl and then he unleashed a powerful tongue lashing on the poor guy.  When he was done spewing his wrath, he told the guy he could take it.  The suspect did not try to grab a roll during his getaway.

Tractorman knocked down 5 bowls of chili, 4 rolls and 2 pieces of pie.  Nowhere near his record.   He does help bring the chili to the party as well as bring it home for the Deacon, so he may have fixed himself a snack coming and going.

There was a major malfunction this year.  It seems that right when the second batch of roll dough was rising, the first rolls weren't cooking very fast in the oven.  That's because the stove decided to expire after years of abuse by the Deacon.  So everything had to be transported to a neighbors house to be cooked.  According to Barbara who got blamed for the stove failure,  Deacon's blood pressure was through the roof.  Which may explain why his first two strings he bowled were not up to par.

Joey M is a closet bowling instructor.. Who knew.  After a few words with Deacon about how to move his hand a little to the right on his release, the strikes started going up on the score sheet big time.

Randy and Friends Tournament is really taking shape.  According to the host he has lined up several sponsors for next year.  One of them is rumored to be Dick's Sporting Goods who has agreed to place electronic scoreboards around the course for up to the minute standings and donate a dozen Titleist for each player .  Another is Clark Distributors who will be having beverage carts serve up ice cold beer for free..  There were a lot of excited Pot Gamers when they heard that news.  Especially the Invitational exiled (Fireman, Commish, Pudge, 40).

Speaking of exiled, Cheez called in from FL but the Deacon refused to talk with him because he used had used the "D" word five years ago to describe the rolls.  But Cheez did get to talk with lots of other Pot Gamers.  He gave them a blow by blow description of his last round all 82 strokes.

Commish announced he will be taking back his rightful place as head of the Pot Game in 2014.  House immediately starting writing out a petition to allow him to play the white tees again.  As he was passing it around for players to sign it got misplaced when it got to Joey M.  It was never seen again.

BB (Brad-Brian) and TJ were comparing notes over kid issues.  One has a dating teenager and the other a little perpetual pooping machine.  They were told it doesn't get any easier going forward.

Mad Dog announced Bretwood's opening day in 2014 will March 28th.  So the first Pot Game will be March 29th at 9am or when the frost is gone.  Be sure to pay for the Hole-In-One pool before you tee off.

Molasses Boy was seen talking with his old twilight partner George most of the night.  Which can mean only one thing.  He is planning on dumping Deacon as his partner and reuniting with George.

Billy D came early and left early to get ready for a long day of skiing the next day.  Birdie gave him a heads up that the best "spandex" watching at the Y is around 10am, when the bored housewives come out to exercise.  Billy D has been going at 7am when there is no spandex in sight just over sized sweat pants.

Triple N even showed.  He blew off volunteering helping feed the cold and poor homeless at the Keene shelter so he could get some nice hot chili.

Everyone agreed that they had a great time seeing all their friends and enjoying great food served up by Deacon and Barbara.  It is a lot of hard work and expense for Deacon and Barbara but it wouldn't seem like Christmas for them without doing it.

Shopping Tips Or Gift Suggestions

If you were thinking of getting 99 a winter hat or scarf for XMas make sure it is orange so it will match his jumpsuit he might be wearing for the next few months.

Dr Dave's wife is getting him new golf shoes with lead weight soles so his feet won't be moving when he hits his shots next summer.

Rizzo has asked Santa for a faster internet connection so he can send out twice as many high quality porno pic emails to all his friends.

Rama bought House a new lunch box for his mid-round snacks with the money he took off him this summer.  He let his daughter pick it out.


If you wanted to get Birdie a little something, why not a new tee shirt since he never wears collared golf shirts anyway.

They Are Cute!

Ever wonder why Otis plays in lots of scrambles during the summer; here is your answer.  Last Christmas his wife paid his way into a charity scramble called "Help Homeless Bunnies".  She thought it was for saving cute little bunnies who needed a farm to live on.  This is a picture of Otis's team of "Homeless Bunnies".  He is not getting the same present this year.

Joey M has asked for a few sessions with a sports psychologist to get over the emotional trauma of the Red Sox winning the World Series and his beloved NY Giants not making the playoffs.

Ginger

Billy D is going to surprise Pudge with a dream date with Gretchen's little sister Ginger.  She likes to watch golf on tv, going to NASCAR races, visiting Las Vegas and throwing down a few cold ones after a good workout.

It's Holiday Time

Gretchen

Billy D and Gretchen are into ski mode even though snow is in short supply.  Gretchen surprised Billy D by modeling her new "apres ski" outfit outside their VT lodge.  Some guys get all the luck.

Rejected 

Deacon this time of year is always trying out new chili recipes for his annual Bowling Alley Chili Party.  He uses the fussy neighborhood kids to do his taste tasting.  By the looks of things this recipe may not have made the cut.

Down He Goes

Captain Fireman wants his men to be prepared for any contingency including if Santa while making his rounds in Keene may get stuck in a chimney after indulging in one too many cookies.  So he has the newest KFD rookie lowered into old firehouse chimney so they can practice extraction.




Commish always looking for ways to earn a few bucks so he can feed the ever growing menagerie of animals Mrs Commish collects, has decided to dress up the alpacas in Santa hats and take them around to nursing homes for picture opportunities with the residents.  99 is his man on the inside setting up the appointments for a small cut.

 



Cheez made it back to his home in the Villages after freezing his butt off during his brief NH Thanksgiving stay.  The first thing he did when he got back was put up his Christmas decorations on his front lawn.  He decided it would be cool this year to decorate his palm tree.  For some reason his neighbors didn't share his enthusiasm.

Thankful For

As Pot Gamers gather with their family and friends around the Thanksgiving dinner table they give Thanks for the following:

99 is thankful for that he is recuperating with his new 80 year old friends in a nursing home instead of sharing a cell with an axe murderer in the slammer.

Commish is thankful for the fact that Pot Gamers still remember who he is since he barely plays anymore.

Pudge is thankful for that there are no more Red, White & Blue tournaments left on the calendar for this year so he doesn't have to worry about sleeping past his tee time.

Otis is thankful for the fact that his last six rounds in the low 70s never went into the GHIN system so his handicap is safely padded for next spring.

Dr Dave is thankful for the fact he has tickets to BC games in the fall so he does have to play in the Pot Game and risk losing all the Pot money he won.

Cheez is thankful for the fact that he survived ignoring stroke pain for three days and hundreds of miles of driving but he didn't miss his first "Sticks" golf match.

TJ is thankful for the fact he has a beautiful little daughter and his garage has stayed standing another year.

Birdie is thankful for Obamacare not having kicked in yet so he can get his knees fixed with good health insurance.

Rama is thankful for the fact he has a new cellphone with a secret number so the "Big House" can't call him into work on nights and weekends.

Mad Dog is thankful for that season has ended as he was running out of excuses as to why he couldn't play in the Pot Game when his back felt great.

Chuckster is thankful for his new house being within view of the clubhouse and driveway so he can watch all the Pot Gamers driving by the course in the early spring seeing if the course is ready to open while he sips a cocktail on his porch.

Deacon is thankful for despite that fact he doesn't have all his strength back he can still crank his drives past the Bear.

Fireman is thankful for the fact that the new putting green at the firehouse is the same speed as Bretwood's greens, slow.

Luke is thankful he still gets invited to his parents houses for Turkey Day even though he has to sit at the little kid's table because Mini took the last place at the head table.

Billy D is thankful for that in skiing he can go left and right instead of like golf where he only goes to the right.

Tractorman is thankful for that 2014 is almost here so he start planning for the first annual "Randy & Friends tournament.

Chimney is thankful for that the cold weather is upon us so all the wood stoves are cranked up securing his income for the new year.

Brett is thankful for his new baby daughter who will be able to earn a full scholarship to college for softball under title nine once he teaches her his home run swing.

Kirk is thankful for his father Rod having to refer to him as "Mr Club Champion" at the dinner table this year.

Molasses Boy is thankful for the fact that hunting season is here and hunters like to move slow and deliberate unlike golfers.
  
Triple N is thankful for the fact that nobody has ever told him how strange it is that he carries his clubs like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder or he walks like his pants are on fire.

Dougie is thankful for that he has all winter to work on his VT invitational so he can create another powerhouse team for himself.

House is thankful for the rumors that Commish is coming back into control next summer so he once again he can tee off from the whites.

Sandy is thankful for the fact that his oldest daughter enjoys chasing deer with him instead of chasing boys.

Jerry Maquire is thankful for the fact he survived his first summer as an official Pot Gamer,  got himself a nickname and only got one X.

Skrocki is thankful for the fact he found a set of no hosel irons on eBay so there will be no Chinese shots next summer for him.

Dicky Mac is thankful for his son Andy Mac dragging him back to play Pot Games so he could get on lousy teams and lose money every week.

Brad-Brian is thankful for the fact he came back from exile at Spofford and on to a real golf course at Bretwood where gets to be a regular B man in the Pot Game.

Skooger is thankful for the fact he gets to go skiing all winter where if you fall all anyone says to you is "oh well".

Blue Tees is thankful for the fact he is the frontrunner to chosen Captain in the 2014 Invitational based on his good play in 2013.

Joey M is thankful for being left the Invitational in Deacon's will so he can pare the roster down a little.

Forty is thankful for getting to play all fall with the B Boys so he could fatten his wallet to be able to get his wife something nice for Christmas at the Dollar Store.

Jay Esch is thankful he is only weeks away from heading south to his house in FL where all the putts break to the setting sun.

Bayou Bomber is thankful for having received his first invite to the Invitational in 2013 and is looking for his secret handshake for 2014.

Sr Pro is thankful for the fact he found another watering hole after his beloved Ginos closed this summer.

Last Hurrah

Last Saturday was the last day of play for Bretwood for 2013.  Bright sunny skies were deceptive because the 20 mph gusting wind made the wind chill about 6 degrees.  But despite the freezing weather 10 Pot Gamers showed to play one last round together.

Chuckster under the influence of a crispy fresh $20 from Pudge, created two teams of five to do battle.

Team #1 Pudge, Jay Esch, Otis, Fireman and Commish (dream team) teed off first on the North Course with the wind hollowing from the North.  Despite several of the players bundled up with multiple layers they shot a unbelievable +10 (4 BB) on the front.

Commish Ready For Action Pic By Donna Cam

Team #2 Bear, Sandy, Dougie, Billy D and House got off to a very slow start and never recovered with a +21 on the front to lose by 11.

The back nine started out promising for Team #1 who was in cruise control but they couldn't duplicate the birdie barrage of the front side and ended up stumbling in with a +15.  They still thought it was good enough based on the pummeling they had give team #2 on the front.  But fear the team that stinks it up on the front, they usually roar back to life.  Team #2 demoralized and able to muster only one birdie put together a +1 over the last four holes to nip Team #1 by one with +14.

So each team won a side and Team #1 won the overall.  There were 5 skins worth $10 a piece (Pudge 2, Commish 2 and Otis 1)

Low scores of the day Otis 76, Bear 77, Pudge 77 and Sandy 79.  Pudge and Bear resumed their "dollar a hole" match and Pudge on the strength of his four birdie day got into Bear's pocket for $4.  Which should have been more because Bear had no birdies but did have a few more pars than Pudge.

A few libations were shared in the parking lot after which took the chill off momentarily.  It was a great end to all too short of a golf season.

Pudge announced that 9 at 9 is officially canceled for this year based on course conditions and weather (temps in low 20s).
Cheez is back in town and was planning to play and see everyone but instead sends his Thanks for all the emails and texts wishing him a full recovery.

Next Pot Game event is Dec 11th at 6pm at the Bowling Alley for the Annual Chili Party hosted by the Deacon and His #1 Girl Barbara.  Heaven help you if you blow it off...he takes notice of who shows and who doesn't.

Happy Thanksgiving

Potpourri

 

Billy D's View From Treadmill At The Y

Did you ever wonder why Billy D works out every morning at the Y.  He is on a constant spandex hunt.  By the looks of things hunting has been pretty good lately.

9 at 9 is a little more than a week away.  Last year we had quite a turn out on Thanksgiving morning to share a few libations and play a few holes of golf on the frozen tundra.  Mark your calendars and tell your wife/girlfriend you will help out when you come back at noon just before you sit down for the football games.

Deacon has played more golf than Mad Dog in the last couple of weeks.  He has announced his Chili Party will be at 6pm sharp at the bowling alley on December 11th.  If you are a regular Pot Gamer you are invited.  Bring an appetite for great chili, rolls and special pies for dessert.  Be sure to buy a pitcher of beer if you want to attend next year.  Also be sure to thank your host "Barbara" and don't talk to the Deacon if he has a string of strikes going, he hates that...

Chuckster has sold out all his winter memberships to his indoor driving range at his new house.   Bonnie will be selling refreshments if you get thirsty.  Rumor has it Brad-Brian is putting one in as well so you could try to buy a membership from him.

Addison Jane DiRusso

TJ broke into the ranks of Fatherhood on the 5th of November with a baby daughter Addison Jane.  She is a cutie..  He reports that he has not slept through the night yet since her arrival.  So her lungs are working fine.  He tells her bedtime stories about all the low rounds he shot this summer.

Weekend Pot Games are still going on despite the cool temps.  Although we gather at 8am, tee off is usually between 8:30 to 9:30.  Scores are no longer being posted so all sandbaggers feel free to attend and shoot your low scores.

Cheez checked in to say he is doing much better.  He said he is about 97% back to normal health wise with just a little more work to do with his left side in therapy.  His chipping is very "Deacon" like so his scores are in the mid 80s instead of mid 70s.  He will be attending 9 at 9 on Turkey Day.  He will be guy looking like the younger brother in the Christmas Story movie with the snow suit on.

Chimney's putts are rolling in with authority again after he "reclaimed" his trusted old putter from his son.  He has been picking up some decent skin money in the late season Pot Games.

Fireman and Birdie are pitching shutouts in their quest to bag a trophy buck.  All they have seen are a few Bambi.   Of course Fireman did spot deer and bear tracks on the greens of the South side on Sunday, so you could see a tree stand erected in the near future.

When you think of who has the most rounds posted this summer you would guess Cheez, Billy D, Fireman, but you would be wrong by a wide margin.  Billy D was closing in on 120 rounds, but the Bayou Bomber has over 150 and counting.  No wonder the Sentinel Sports section is so small.

Tractorman has been on IR with a bad shoulder.  But he is still keeping his hand in the Pot Game with his diabolical tee markers and pin placements...