The Long Wait Is Over

After weeks of no news reports from the Pot Game Gazette, we are happy to report the staff is back and hard at work.  In an effort to keep you abreast of all that has gone on for the last month we sent our best reporter to dig out the score cards from the archive from week two to present day to bring you all up to date.

Moldy Old News 

Sat. 4/19/14 Cold and miserable conditions still produced 16 players who were just happy to be able to play after a long winter. 

Team #1 Pudge, Andy Mac, Molasses Boy and Blue Tees struggled out of the box with a +13 (3 BB) on the front. Team # 2  Bear, Brad-Brian, Tractorman and House looked great on paper but not on the course when they shot +10.  Team # 3 DMac, TJ, Dicky Mac and Rama cruised on the front until ran into a slight pump on holes 8 & 9 but still managed to tie the front for half a side. Team #4 Skrocki, Otis, Billy D and Fireman played steady on the front with a +7  to grab half a side. 

The back nine brought a strong wind and colder temps and the scores reflected it.  Team # 1 won with a tidy +9.  The other teams #2 +29 (new record), #3 +18 and #4 +12.  Which made Team # 4 the overall winner.

Low scores were DMac 72, Otis 79.

Pudge plucked $8 from Bear making YTD Pudge +$8.

Sun. 4/20/14 On another blustery cold day 14 players showed.

Team #1 Pudge, BB, Andy Mac and Chimney despite playing one player short shot +2 (2 BB) which was good enough by a wide margin.  Team #2 Bear, TJ, Jerry Mag, Rama and Loy never got untracked  and came in with a whopping +15.  Team #3 Mad Dog, Skrocki, Billy D, Fireman and House shot a very average +8.  On the back Team #3 cruised to a smooth +4 which also gave them the overall with +12.

Low scores were Mad Dog 75, Pudge 76, TJ 77 and Andy Mac 77.  There were 3 skins (House, Mad Dog and Bear) worth $23 a piece.

Pudge nicked Bear for $7 making YTD Pudge +$15
Mad Dog reached into Bear's pocket for $6 making YTD Mad Dog +6

Sun 4/27/14  Cool gray day still attracted 16 players.

Team #1 Bear, Dicky Mac, Jerry M and Blue Tees never got untracked and shot +15 (3 BB) on the front.  Team #2 Sandy, Andy Mac, Rama and House were done after second hole and ended up with +15.  Team #3 Skrocki, Molasses Boy, Fireman and Chris Martz (new member and Rama look alike) thought they were out of it with +12 but just missed.  Team # 4 Otis, TJ, Chimney and Scottie-Steve (back from the missing) eked out a 1 shot victory with a +11.  Team #1 when the fog cleared won the back with a +10.  Which put Team # 4 in the winners circle for overall with +23 and two sides.

Low scores Otis 80, Andy Mac 80, TJ 81 and Skrocki 81  There were three skins (Dicky Mac 2, Chimney 1) worth $26 a piece.

Sandy won $1 from Bear making YTD Sandy +$1.

Stale News

Sat 5/3/14  Improving weather brought out 25 Pot Gamers to play on the North course.

Mad Dog in a panic with 25 players decided to play fivesomes which goes against all his principles.
Team #1 NNN, Tractorman, Joey M, Rama and Chimney shot a respectable +3 (3 BB).  Team #2 Pudge, TJ, Birdie, Jerry M and Donny Roy melted down to a +9.  Team #3 were a middle of the pack +5.  Team #4 Bear, Skrocki, Brett, Fireman and Blue Tees shot a quiet +2 for half of the front side.  Team #5 DMac, Andy Mac, 40, Billy D and Skooger somehow got to +2 with no one breaking 40 on the front.  Team #1 ripped the back for -5 with 7 birdies and cruised to an easy overall victory as well.

Low scores NNN 71, Tractorman 73, Bear 74 and DMac 75.  There were 7 skins (Billy D 2, Bear 1, NNN 1, Fireman 1, DMac 1, Joey M 1) worth $17 a piece.

Bear clipped Pudge for $6 making YTD Pudge up +$9
Bear nipped Mad Dog for $4 making YTD MD up +$2
Bear took $1 from Sandy making YTD all even.

Sat 5/10/14  18 Players decided to risk putting on the slower than brillo pads greens and came out to do battle.

Team # 1 NNN, Birdie and Jerry M thought they were safe with a +1 (2 BB) but alias they were wrong.  Team #2 Bear, Molasses Boy, Fireman never got untracked and shot +4 .  Team #3 Mixologist, Brett and Billy D hooked, sliced and chunked their way to a whooping +8.  Team #4 Mad Dog, Dicky Mac and Chimney shot a smooth stress free +1.  Team #5 Sandy, Andy Mac and Blue Tees nipped the field with a front nine even par.  Team # 6 Skrocki, TJ and Chris tired from waiting to tee off shot a pedestrian +3.  Team #3 used 5 birdies to get to +1 on the back but Team # 6 only needed 1 birdie to get the same result +1.  But Team #6 took the overall with +4.

Low scores were Bear 74, Skrocki 75, Andy Mac 75, Sandy 76 and NNN 76.  There were 4 skins (NNN 1, Andy Mac 1, Skrocki 1 and TJ 1) worth $22 a piece.

Bear took a chunk of change $9 from Mad Dog making YTD Bear +$7
Bear nipped Sandy for $3 making YTD Bear +$3

Come and Gone

Opening Day finally arrived last Saturday with 14 Pot Gamers making an appearance.  Details are sketchy with all Gazette reporters attending The Masters.  Billy D did not shoot his normal 82 (but 84) but did convert his 3 birdies into skins for a cool $33 in his pocket.

Sunday brought another 14 players to the first tee however a few rain drops produced the first crisis for the new old Commissioner.  There was a drop out after the teams were picked which caused teams to be unbalanced.  The offending player earned himself a double X from the Commish, which puts him on the edge of expulsion and a parking lot chat.  Brad-Brian fresh from thousands of swings in his new range shot out of the blocks with a 74, with 5 birdies.  He propelled his team to a sweep of all 3 sides and earned himself 3 skins.

Cheez left The Villages today and will wind his way northward with two stops in NC to visit kids and grandchildren.  He will arrive early next week.  However he will not be at any Pot Games until he preps his house for the market.  Plus he will be paying green fees so the pain of opening his wallet and handing over cash will be a deterrent as well.

Bear made his annual trek to Augusta to take in The Masters.  This year for the first time in 9 years Mrs Bear made the trip as well.  After spending all day Thursday walking the manicured hills of Augusta National, they met their boys for dinner and the exchange of the Patron Badges.  Then they headed down to Hilton Head.  With the Harbour Town course closed for play for this weeks tournament they were able to walk on the course.  The 18th green is tiny when you see it up close.  Their suitcases were full coming home with all the Pot Gamer requested Master's Pro Shop purchases.

Warmer weather should improve the number of Pot Gamers making their debut.

Drip Drip Drip

14th Hole as of Monday April 7th

With the snow on the course in neat little melting rows clear of the fairways and greens, The Big House has decided the time to start collecting some cash is now.  Mad Dog announced to The Gazette and it was confirmed by Tractorman, the course will open this Saturday the 12th.  There will 27 holes open to start.  So if the new old Commish gets his act together and arranges a tee time, the first Pot Game of 2014 will be on Saturday.  Chances are very strong however he will be a no show so whatever Pot Gamers do show up they will be on their own to create a format.

The endless winter has dragged on so long, Pot Gamers have been traveling out of state to play.  Last week Pudge and Otis headed to MA and TJ headed to CT.

You can tell its Spring time when:

Jay Esch playing 16th at Cypress Point

Jay Esch sends in pictures of his FL yard full of flowers or the places he has played golf this past winter.
Commish has to rescue the donkeys from ankle deep mud in their paddock.
Cheez endures the wrath from the "Sticks" for heading home to NH with the other "Snow Birds".
Tractorman gets ready to cut the diabolical pin placements that he has been dreaming up all winter.
Deacon polishes up his deck stories by telling them to other patients in the hospital when he gets his treatment.
Mad Dog uses his winter bowling injuries to miss the first Pot Games until his game rounds into shape.
Rama goes on 24 hour 7 day a week duty to keep the equipment held together with rubber bands and baling wire.

 Pudge's Red White & Blue Poster

Chuckster is asking for more hours in the Pro Shop so he can save enough money to pay his first half property tax bill on his new house.
Birdie breaks out his tee shirt collection and blue jeans to be ready for opening day.
Skrocki adjusts his work schedule so he can play golf during the day and work nights.
Chimney puts away his brushes and vacuums and cleans up his trusty putter.
Gretchen and Ginger put away their winter clothes in favor of shorts and bikinis much to the pleasure of Billy D and Pudge.
House waits in the parking lot to see if Commish will allow him to play in the Pot Game.
Bear makes his annual pilgrimage to The Masters to haul back hats, shirts and other gear for fellow Pot Gamers.

Succumbed To The Pressure

Bretwood Under Blanket of Snow 3/27/14

Mad Dog in an exclusive interview with the Bretwood Pot Game Gazette admitted that he predicted Opening Day for March 29th while he was under tremendous pressure from the Big House to produce early season revenue.  They were spoiled when he sold hundreds of memberships on St Patricks Day in 2012.  He went to extremes to try to make his prediction come true, he purchased dozens of Pink Lady golf balls for Pot Gamers to use on the snow covered fairways, he ordered snow blowers to clear the greens, stocked up on hot chocolate for the Snack Shacks and bought extra hand warmers to give out on the first tee.  But alas the new old Commish told him to "forget about it", there would be no official Pot Game until the course is clear of snow, green grass is showing and temps are in the low 60s.  As we left the interview we watched as Mad Dog dialed Skooger's cellphone to see if he could unload his Pink Lady golf balls on him.
 

Porky's New Venture

Porky checked in with the Gazette to let us know he has given up golf and has opened a new venture.  Since he has been on the West Coast he has fallen in love with sushi.  So he has decided to open his own restaurant.  He sent us a picture of his establishment.

Billy D is exhausted after following up a 120 round 2013 golf season with a record setting 36 days of skiing in VT.  Usually skiing is over before he polishes up his golf clubs but this year he will transition right into golf with boots and skis still caked with snow.  Good thing he has Gretchen to massage his aches and pains.

Sally thought Cheez was playing way to much golf and not enjoying it, so she found him a job.  The Villages opened a new Pharmacy and Cheez was hired for the night shift.  Night shift at the Villages is between Early Bird Hour and Bed time 4:30pm to 8:30pm.  Cheez mentioned he mostly fills Viagra and Cialis prescriptions along with nitroglycerine tablets.

Bear Cave

Brad-Brian sent in pictures of his new indoor range complete with golf mat, net, beer fridge and golf signs hanging on the wall.  He has been practicing all winter long in what he calls the "Bear Cave".  The editor of The Gazette was humbled to think Brad-Brian would name his range after him.  What an honor.  He invites all Pot Gamers to head over to hit a few and chug a few brews before the course opens .

Gary with TJ's Ball

TJ has already received the first X of 2014.  He received the honor of earliest X ever when he sneaked off to FL to play golf with Cheez while pretending he was working hard.  He did meet his match when he sliced a drive near a pond on one of The Villages premier courses and it was gobbled up by Gary the Gator. 

Fireman needs a new name.  Truck was appropriate when he actually drove a firetruck, but now with his lofty new assistant chief title it is time to get him a new nickname.  So send in your suggestions to the Gazette. 

Ginger

Pudge has been out straight at Dick's dealing with all the new golf inventory, so he wasn't able to break away for a "Spring Break" with Ginger.  But it didn't stop her as she headed off to Fl with her sister Gretchen for a few days of fun in the sun.

Springtime In The Air

With Opening Day less than two weeks away, The Pot Game already had to make a tee time reservation with the Pro Shop for the 29th.  It is 8am on the "Pool Course".  Don't be late because no frost delay is anticipated.

Our crack investigative reporter has discovered that the course underground heating system was not shut off by "The Big House" to save money but by The Chuckster because he wasn't ready to go back to work seven days a week.  Tractorman reports that it is fully functional now and has the course in great shape for opening day.

Birdie and Fireman may not make the Opener as they have been practicing for the 8th Annual Turkey Calling Contest.  They were only spectators last year but decided to give it a go this year.  They are going to enter as a tandem with Birdie calling all turkeys on the far left and Fireman calling them from the far right.  Wish them luck when you see them.

The Gazette received their Masters press passes last week.  Their editor will be departing on April 9th so he won't be available that weekend to play in the Pot Game.  Anyone who needs Master's gear should contact him with a wishlist including sizes.

2012 St Paddy's Day

Just two years ago, 2012 the first Pot Game was played on St Pats Day.  There were 12 players and temps in the high 20s.  According to Mad Dog it was the earliest opening ever in the long history of Bretwood. 

Cheez found his game last week when he was breaking 80 with a pair of 79s.  He thinks he is clear of the dreaded laterals.  We asked him how he cured himself of the most feared shot in golf.  He told us he found out he hit them because he was shifting his weight too far onto his toes on the downswing.  On the practice range his cure was to tape a golf ball under each of his shoes near the toe so it forces his weight onto his heels.  It worked so well he had custom shoes made with a heel under the toe. He is duck hooking everything but he doesn't care as long as it isn't a lateral.  Only thing now is he can barely walk in them to get back to his cart.

Gretchen the Caddy

Billy D played a few rounds of golf when he was in Florida.  Gretchen had volunteered to caddy and drive his cart while he played.  She bought an outfit especially for the job.

Remember When

Mad Dog and Pudge were NASCAR crazy and had their little model cars on the shelf in the Pro Shop lined up based upon race results.

House was sent packing to the B Boys by the Commish for shooting in the 90s twice in a row.

Fireman was a lowly fireman driving trucks and running pumps instead of the lofty Little Chief position he holds now.

Billy D's kids were satisfied when he bought them a few candy bars instead of having to buy them new iphones. 

Pot Gamers talked about how far their drives went instead of what body part is sore or injured.

Jay Esch use to partner with Skrocki in Friday gold game matches against even tempered Johnny Hollar

Chuckster actually got to play in the Pot Game instead of playing in the Pro Shop.

Dickie Mac was taking credit from Blog readers for all the low scores DMac was shooting in the Pot Games.

Blue Tees thought he could convince Commish to play the white tees.

There were three times as many players in the Open division of the Cities than the Senior division.

Skooger played with a pink ball embarrassing himself and his playing partners.

Adrian use to hit out of trouble with his wedge instead of his foot.

Hilow on your team guaranteed you a piece of the Pot.

Commish left hard core XXX porn pics on the tee boxes at Crotched Mtn Pro Am so the KCC team would find them.

Cheez putted to a leaf instead of the hole and wondered why his partners weren't congratulating him for a great lag.

Skrocki played 6 rounds of golf with the same ball before drowning it on the 13th hole.

Bear had to play alternate shot with a partner who broke his putter on the 10th hole, so he had to aim at fringes so his partner could chip.

Brad-Brian only use to have one name and no kids.

Chimney knocked it on the 18th north from the trees next to the 2nd green.

Deacon had the "secret box" in his cart instead of the man purse he carries now.

Birdie was going to make millions with his Altoids vending machines.

Rama was given the task of converting all the carts at Bretwood to covered ones within a week.

Joey M use to partner with the "One Who Moved To The Cape" in state four ball tournaments.

Dougie took a year off to coach soccer.

Triple N's game was too good for the Pot Game.

Brett found he could find a fairway once in a while and score better if he left his driver in the bag.

Dr Dave only took money off Charlie Donahue on Thursdays not large chunks of the Pot on Saturdays.

TJ was the new guy with a big drive and lots of questions.

Bayou Bomber thought the Pot Game was some strange ritual played on the deck.

Sandy had to be referred to as "Champ".

Otis thought water skiing with his family was more important than the Invitational.

Forty thought running the Twilight League would be fun.

Sully and Murt would be deck dwellers well into the afternoon.

Molasses Boy was two inches taller before he decided to slide off his roof.

Jerry Mag lost his range finder on the practice range and was lost without it.

Roy Boys were as plentiful in the Pot Game as fleas on a dog.

Is It Spring Yet?

Ready For Opening Day

Hard to believe Opening Day is 25 days away.  Mad Dog's crystal ball predicts global warming will kick in the third week of March and melt all the snow just in time for the 28th.  The Big House shut all the underground heaters off in a cost saving measure other wise they were going to have to raise membership fees.  But they found a way to clear the course in order to be ready, they are trying out a new snow blower.  The told the dealership they will make a decision when they have finished clearing the course whether they will buy or not.

Luke in a Putin like attempt tried to wrestle control of Bretwood from the Big House this winter.  But he was caught before he could acquire enough stock.  So now instead of being in the line of succession he has been cut off and written out of the will.  Mini took his place.

Clearwater Beach

Billy D and Gretchen just got back from sunny Florida.  They spent several days hanging out with Billy's kids on Clearwater Beach.  If you look real close you can see Gretchen topless in the upper right hand corner of the picture Billy sent us.

Deacon has been fighting off pneumonia so he been unable to work on recruiting players for the Invitational.  Tractorman has sent him his waiting list from "Randy & Friends" to help him fill out his field.  What a nice guy.

Pudge has not announced how may Red, White & Blue tournaments he is planning on hosting this year.  He did say that now that the new (old) Commish is back in charge, he made add an extra one because he knows how much Commish loves the format.

Ginger

Speaking of the Commish, he told the Gazette he will not be playing until the temperature hits 50 degrees which could be June at this rate.  Too bad because Pudge said he was having Ginger caddy for him on Opening Day and the Commish really wanted to meet her.

The Hole-In-One pool is currently at $880 for those players who paid for all three previous pools.  So with the new one this year it will be worth over $1,000.  That's a lot of beers.  So practice your iron play before opening day.

Preseason Prognostication

The Gazette has been researching the winter activities of Pot Gamers to be able to rate their golf readiness when opening day (according to Mad Dog) hits in only 36 days.  We have placed them in different categories.

Locked & Loaded

Brad-Brian after months of pounding balls in his new indoor practice range with his boys he is primed and ready to go.  He should be a top pick for any Captain.

Jay Esch has been enjoying the warm Florida weather while he rounds his game into shape.  His swing will be well grooved although his putting still runs hot and cold.

Chuckster had Dickie Mac install an indoor putting green in his new range.  After 22 putters and 4 grip changes he has found his stroke.  One of the best drivers of the ball already and now armed with new stroke look for him to lead his team with birdies.

Bayou Bomber is always in top form because he is a golfer who is a sportswriter in his spare time.  He hates cold weather so no doubt he has been lobbing Sentinel to have him do Spring Training stories so he can tune up his game.

Billy D by skiing all winter is in great shape for golf.  His muscles are relaxed and loose from Gretchen's nightly massages.  You won't get a low 70s score out of him but you get a guaranteed 78 to 82 every time.

Jerry Mag has been very quiet this winter.  No one knows what he is up too.  However we have learned he has booked a spring golf trip to SC so his game should be in top shape.  The only question  after his trip will be, will the rounds of golf, rounds of beer and rounds to the strip clubs deplete all his pot game funds.

Worth A Look

Triple N has been concentrating on trying to sell real estate instead of his golf game.  On his bad day his score is still among the lowest of any Captain.  Only hesitation would be his putting was a little shaky last season and he does seem emotionally affected by being one of the few Pot Gamers not given a proper nickname.

Fireman with his new pole climbing Popeye forearms rumor has it he has gained 20 yards on his driver, 15 yards forward and 5 yards right.  Never gives up and spins some good tales during the round.

Chimney now that he has his trusted putter back in his bag,  he is always a threat to make some big putts for his team.  Plus by ramming his putts in,  he crushes the rim making the hole bigger for his teammates.

Otis because he has a short back swing was able to practice all winter in his office which is the size of a telephone booth at the T-Bird .  With the old Commish coming back into power he will let Otis play as a B man based on his manipulated handicap instead of playing out of the Captain slot as Bear made him do.  So he has a license to steal a few pots for his teammates.

Dr Dave didn't go south or hit in an indoor range but it doesn't matter, money finds him.  Last summer whether he shot 85 or 79 his team always cashed.  The only caution would be if he hurt his wrist this winter drilling and filling patients working his busy 2.5 days a week.

TJ hasn't let anybody know if he has been sneaking away to play golf somewhere but we doubt it given he has fatherhood duties now.  Rumor has it he has been running to get in shape so he can keep up with his daughter when she learns to walk.  He was starting to get that length isn't everything last summer so look for him to start posting some consistent scores in the 70s.

Sandy hits it long and straight all year long with or without practice. The slow bumpy greens will help him when everyone else won't be able to roll the ball into the cup either.  A solid pick for early season conditions where high ball hitters are rewarded when fairways are soft and muddy.

Dougie teaches all winter.  Doesn't do anything foolish like winter camping or hiking up frozen mountain peaks but he also doesn't practice his golf swing.  Somehow though when the season opens he is hitting it straight down the fairway.  Very steady, great laugh and does get motivated if you buy him a fruity drink on the deck.

Rama bankrolled his winter dinners out with his wife thanks to his wins over House last summer.  Since he adapted his short swing he has become a consistent contributor to his teams.  There must be something in those Heinekens he drinks on the deck.  Look for more smiles from Rama and tears from House this summer.

On The Fence

Tractorman  coming off a late fall shoulder injury the jury is still out on whether he will return to form of early 2013 when 75s were his average scores.  Working on the Bretwood underground course heating system may have kept the shoulder strengthened enough to get off to a quick start.

Joey M in his second year with his bionic knee should hold up physically but the emotional toll of his constant playing partner Blue Tees not coming back this year is a real unknown factor as how it will affect his performance.  Safe bet his good days will 74s but his bad days may creep up to mid 80s.

Ginger

Pudge is a wildcard given his recent romance with Ginger.  He hasn't lifted a club other than to give her lots of private lessons.  Normally a solid Captain with nothing but golf on his mind both at work and play but now he has entered the Ginger zone, even Murt's not sure what to expect.  Hopefully he will bring her out to caddy for him in the Pot Game.

Dickie Mac swooped in last summer after his son challenged him to play.  It was like he had never left for five years, solid rounds in high 70s low 80s,  plenty of bitching of unfair teams,  laying down on the green to see the line of the putt and enjoying a few cold ones on the deck.  Expect more of the same this summer.

House in the early part of the winter was traveling to CT to keep his game sharp.  But with his travels to Maine, Georgia, South Carolina to help fix electric lines from ice damage may have taken its toll on him mentally and physically.  With lots of overtime pay in his pocket his poker addiction has resurfaced so golf has taken a backseat.  We would have to rate him risky at best but then again when hasn't he been.

Mad Dog had more retirements and comebacks than any other Pot Gamer last summer and fall.  He also holds the record for most games missed because of ailments (bad back, headache (or was that his wife), pinched nerve, double vision, no vision, partial vision, too tired, sore arm from painting, grandfather syndrome, too cold, too hot or case of the chunks ).  So you never know day to day who or what you are getting.

Birdie has been busy this winter.  He has made three trips to Colorado since Jan.  He flies out spends only one day then rents a large van and drives back to NH.  At first we thought he was really into skiing out west but then we found out he doesn't ski.  So not sure what he is up to.  It seems like some kind of smoke screen.

Skrocki had a up and down 2013 mostly because of the dreaded shank making an occasional appearance.  He has been working hard on his chipping by making a channel to chip through at work.  He only wrecked two cases on cabbages and 12 watermelons before he found his grove again.  It remains to be seen however whether he can perform without vegetables.

Lots Of Baggage

Cheez even though he plays every day in The Villages all winter he can't find consistency.  A three day stint in the mid 70s turns into a week long struggle in the mid 80s.  When he plays this spring he will be paying weekend rates for green fees which means he will be worried about how much money it is costing him instead of how he is hitting it.  He will be a downer for any team.

Commish  besides having to scrape all the rust off his game from two years of inactivity has been physiologically damaged by losing to Birdie the last three times in a row.  Add on the pressure to try to win enough Pot money to feed dozens of hungry farm animals and you have a player with loads of stress.  Never mind that in the early season his multiple layer outfits restrict his already short swing.  Easy to see why he is in this category.

Molasses Boy has been traveling back and forth out west to oversee his new hunting business.  Golf has been downgraded in his priorities.  So between the new rules against slow play and his lack of interest don't look for Molasses Boy to have a break out season.  Plus Deacon after getting dumped by him in Twilight, created a voodoo doll that looks just like Molasses Boy and he sticks pins in it nightly.

Deacon rested a large portion of 2013.  His head will be ready play out of the gate but will his body? He wants to rework his beautiful tempo golf swing in order to hit high draws. It will take some time to get use to wearing slippers with spikes on the bottom plus his hook spin release from bowling may cause problems with his golf release.  He may still be a good pick because he will have a cart to give rides when you get tired (except Cheez).

Skooger after a so so season last year decided to dedicate himself to improving his overall approach to the game of golf.  He skied to stay in shape up until he got stuck on a chair lift for three hours in bone chilling cold.  So he gave that up.  Next he read that his favorite food popcorn actually was healthy for you.  So he bought an extra large commercial grade popper.  The first time he used it without reading the directions he filled up his kitchen with popcorn when he added 12 cups of corn instead of 1.2 cups.  When we asked his wife what Skooger 's reaction was to these accidents, she told us all he said was "Oh Well".  So expect the same old Skooger on the golf course. this spring.

Bear hasn't been practicing, hasn't been exercising, but has been eating.  He went off the healthy eating for the holidays and never went back to it.  So until he can see the ball instead of his belly when he putts I would ask to be switched to another team.  There are probably more 87s in his future than 67s.

Buried In White

40 and Mini Sneaking On North

With a storm last week and another coming this week Mad Dog's prediction of Opening Day on March 28th seems a little optimistic.  However Tractorman assures the Gazette that the new underground heaters under each green will allow for an early opening.  40 and Mini couldn't wait as they played a few holes in the snow last week.

Bullwinkle in Birdie's LR

Birdie took his house off the market after six months of trying to sell it.  Triple N was not available for comment by press time as to why he couldn't get the job done for Birdie.  A look at the listings interior pictures of his LR on the MLS showed a possible reason.  Customers who want Keene come here because it is the most liberal part of NH where all the legalize weed, anti hunting element, green power, gather together. Rumor has it that he is waiting for Cheez to come home before he puts it back on the market, then he will challenge Cheez as to who can sell their house the fastest.

Commish Dressed For Spring Golf

With Commish back in power certain Pot Gamers will be looking over their shoulders when they drive into the parking lot this spring.  As you will remember that is his favorite spot to terminate players he thinks no longer fit into the Pot Game. The list of Pot Gamers sent on their way never to be seen again was quite extensive when he was reigning over the Pot Game.  He may dress like a 6yr old sent out to play in the snow by his Mother, but don't let his fashion fool you, he still packs a verbal punch.

Ginger "Practicing"

Pudge's date with Ginger over the holidays seem to go well.  He has been giving her private after hour lessons at Dick's Sporting Goods range.  According to Fritz the Cat, they have been "practicing" quite frequently always with the heat turned way up.  Pudge told him it was because her swing felt too restrictive with too many clothes on.  Whatever works...

Dougie is in the planning stages for his 3rd Annual Road Trip tournament.  The last two years they have been played on mountain courses in VT.  The word is that he is eyeing some MA courses that are a little flatter.  The strongest rumor so far has it being played at the International course in Bolton MA from the Tiger tees over 8,000 yards long.  It doesn't matter where its played Dougie will be in the winners circle when its over.

The Pines Course At The International

52 Days

Brad-Brian's New Range

Opening Day according to Mad Dog is on March 28th which is only 52 days away.  Chuckie and Brad-Brian will be in mid season form because of their new indoor practice ranges.  TJ was going to put one in his new garage but was nervous it wouldn't be safe with a heavy snow load on the roof since it already collapsed once.

Commish has been busy writing new Pot Game rules for when he takes over in 2014.  One of the rules is aimed at Molasses Boy, which says you need to play in 3:45 minutes or less.  If not your team will incur a two stroke penalty. He tried to have Bear give him the Hole-In-One pool money but Bear refused when he found out he wanted to use it to buy rabbit food.

Birdie is close to retiring from the "Battle Of The Beav" because his opponent (Commish) has been noncompetitive in the last few matches.  Birdie is thinking of calling out Pudge for more of a challenge.  Commish might be able to start a new "Hat" match with House. 

Cheez sent a letter to the "Big House" asking for a May-June only membership discount.  He thinks his house will be sold by July and he will be back in the Villages by midsummer.  Mad Dog said after the laughter died down in the "Big House", they used the letter as a fire starter in the woodstove.  So I guess the Cheez will have to buy a full membership or pay green fees.

Deacon took note as to who bought pitchers of beer at his "Chili Party" and who didn't.  He will be calling out those players who didn't on the deck to buy a rack or face his wrath all summer.  Speaking of Deacon, even though he is in a slightly weaken state chances are he will still be able to clear families off the deck in less than 3 minutes with his "F" laced language and booming voice.

Sorry to say if you didn't already commit to "Randy & Friends" it is too late.  Tractorman reports that he has a waiting list of 12 players hoping someone will drop out.  It promises to be a major event for a long time to come. But we have it on good authority that the Invitational has only filled half their field so far.  So if you are looking to play you might want to ask Blue Tees if he can help you get an invite as he is rumored to be one of the Captains this year.

KFD Pole

Fireman is determined to cure his slice this summer.  One of the golf instruction articles he read over the winter talked about curing the slice by building up your forearms.  So he has been climbing up the fire pole instead of sliding down it all winter.  He can't use the pole on Friday nights though as that is reserved for the "After Hour" entertainment KFD amateur stripper contest.  Friday night duty is very popular.