Rumor Mill

Commish has instructed Mad Dog to create a team Sat. with Tractorman and three White Tee Boys to shut him up.  Miller Beer Company has announced to their stockholders the second quarter sales of Miller Lite will be substantially reduced because one of their largest consumers of the beverage will be having an operation in May and will be unable to drink for several weeks.  Cheez is stuck in NC because he won't drive in the rain (weeniephobia).  Dougie is tired of hitting the ball dead straight so he is working on a hook-slice shot.  Bret can't hit his driver in the fairway so he will be using his old Swamp Bat baseball bat instead. Sunday is Cheez's 2012 Pot Game debut however there is an Elk's Tournament which will take away 70% of Pot Gamers and the other regulars already have a foursome. Deacon's secret baggie contains an inhaler but it also has hair gel so he can groom his Don King hairdo. Commish's hand knitted head covers are available now in the Pro Shop. Billy D loves his RocketBallz white driver so much his girlfriend Gretchen has started to dress in all white to try to get his attention.  Sr Pro has sold Gino's and will be opening up a Coffee Shop instead, all the waiters will wear blue golf shirts and white pants.  TJ vows to not talk about how far he hit his driver just how he scored for the day (over/under is two holes before he breaks). Chuckie the majority stockholder of Bretwood has signed up to play in the Cribbage Nationals to be held in Atlantic City in June, Ellis will be flying him there.  House was recently nominated by Deacon to receive the Augie Dog award for beer purchases, there were no objections.  Otis has given up water skiing in case there is ever an Invitational again.  Rama was absent from the Pot Game for a few weeks to attend John Daly's "The Art Of The Backswing" school, the jury is out on whether it worked or not. Blue Tees recently sent an email to the Commish stating he loves everything about the Pot Game he would not change a thing. The Sierra Club has been studying the new rock formations along the river banks near 14N.  Bretwood Food Service announced that for every four beers you drink you get a free tuna roll.  Fireman bought the Bretwood's Beer Cart rights from SteelPen Inc and will be conducting behind closed doors Beer Cart Girl interviews at Keene State's Sorority Row next Thursday.  Chimney found a cobbler in VT who knows how to add 10lbs weights to his left golf shoes to prevent his foot from flying backwards.  40's wife got him a third job to go with his meter reading and dog grooming business, he will now be Mini's intern.  Birdie dumped Bear for Cheez in the dollar a hole match and figures to will make a killing.  Triple N has been taking night classes in How To Master Web Browsing 101. Jay Esh won't be back to the Pot Game anytime soon since he is winning too much of Holler's money.  Skrocki got word he has been kicked out of The Polish Open tournament because his relatives turned out to be Gypsys.  Penguin was detained at the Canadian border for trying to smuggle in Cuban cigars (he got off when he gave Porky up as his dealer). Pistol Pete petitioned Commish to be allowed to go to the white tees when the wind is blowing into his face (denied). Fritz the Cat is back working at Dick's Sporting Goods, so half off Mondays are back on.